Drop Dead Gorgeous She'll Hang Herself With Pearls
by FadingHippie
Summary: What if Luke did have another daughter, but it wasn't April? What if he finds out years after marrying Lorelai? What if his daughter wasn't perfect...? How will Emily react to an unexpected granddaughter? Of course expect a lot of JavaJunkie, because there should have been a Luke/Lorelai baby. Please note: An eating disorder is prevalent in this story and some other hard subjects
1. Who is this girl?

NOTE: I do not own anything Gilmore Girls… sad isn't it?

This is my first fanfic. I started writing it when I was in college. However, the story became too real.

I wrote this first chapter back during Season Five… It was set in the future then but now it isn't. To give you an idea: in my mind Rory is 24. Lorelai and Luke are married, and the April thing never happened…

LORELAI:

So, Jess is dating someone. Someone intelligent. That I can wrap my head around, well... sort of. I mean, he did date Rory at one point so there is clearly something in him that appears to girls with a brain. However, it's harder to understand why his girlfriend is moving in with us.

I mean, we have the space. I get it. The crap shack is no longer as crappy these days. Luke helped me get that addition built a few years ago and then we built another addition off the back not even a year ago. Still though? It doesn't quite make sense and Jess isn't exactly talkative enough to get actual answers. He takes after his uncle like that. I mean Luke isn't exactly Mr. chatty either. So it made sense that when Luke and I were in bed together - we might be in the habit of making regular afternoon delights – this girlfriend came up.

"So when's that girl coming to live with us?' Luke asked me

"Her name is Kat and she's coming tonight. You know this, Jess called us like an hour ago with the details…" I said, snuggling deeper into the crook of his arm

"Why is she coming again?"

"Luke, honestly don't you listen to your wife?" I asked suddenly sitting up and turning to face my husband

"Yes, I listen to you Lorelai, but why again?" Luke prodded.

"She's Jess's girlfriend and her parents kicked her out."

"She's the girl we haven't met."

"Yes, she's the one we haven't met," I stated, started to grow irritated

"Why was she kicked out?" Luke continued clearly not noticing my irritation.

"Luke! You listen to absolutely nothing, God I need some coffee."

"No coffee - "

"Meanie!"

"You didn't let me finish. No coffee, until you tell me why she was kicked out."

"She has a problem with something. Jess said we'd know what with when we see her."

"What do we really know about this girl anyway?"

I got out of bed at that point. Exasperated with the conversation since Luke was who had orchestrated or okayed this whole thing... I can't really see Luke with a baton, so okayed seems like the better word choice.

"That's she's an axe murderer turned drug dealer and she think Stars Hollow is the perfect place to stage a drug heist, because the police will never suspect it! Okay, okay, Luke we know that Jess really cares about her and that she's going to be staying in the spare bedroom."

With that I started to get dressed. Half hoping me being naked would distract Luke. It didn't.

"You're okay with her staying here?"

"Of course, I said I was, didn't I Lukey."

"Don't call me that!"

"Lukey, Lukey-baby, Lucas," I cooed, saying it how you would to a baby

"Especially not Lucas."

The phone rang and I rushed to answer it, despite being half dressed.

"Hello, you know what to do."

"Lorelai, I'm on my way over with Kat. Just thought I'd give you the heads up. She's inside her posh house-

"Hold up – Did Jess Mariano just say posh? As in the name of one of the Spice Girls? Did you secretly listen to them or something? Lemme guess, you had their video. Jess Mariano, I'm shocked"

"Lorelai – anyway she's in there getting her stuff. Please don't…"

"Don't what?"

"Nothing, I've got to go. We'll be there in about thirty minutes, bye." Jess said as he hung up.

"Bye"

"That was Jess?"

"Yep"

"Bringing the girl over?" Luke said sounding a bit like a cave man... a tone that I loved.  
"Her name is Kat, and yes he's bringing her over. What do you think is wrong with her?"

"Besides the fact that she's dating Jess?"

"Yes, besides that fact and hey now! Rory dated Jess. Besides, as much as I hate to be wrong. Jess has changed. He's cleaning his act up… He did write that book… You don't think she's pregnant do you?"

"Nah, Jess would've told us… maybe?" uncertainty filled Luke's voice, though he tried to hide it.

"Luke, do you really think he would have?"

"Hold old is she?"

"18, I think... She's a senior at Chilton. You talk to Jess more than I do Luke, you should know this."

"18? Jess is 24… almost 25. She's not pregnant. She can't be," Luke was starting to be alarmed.

"Um yeah, she can be; I had Rory at 16... "

"But Christopher was 16 too."

"They don't have to be the same age Luke, because when two people love-" I teased.

"Lorelai, she is NOT pregnant!"

"Luke, calm down. What else could be wrong with her?"

"I don't know obviously something"

"Do you think she's eaten yet? If she is pregnant, she might be hungry"

"I don't think she's pregnant, but let's go to the diner. I'll get Caesar to cook us up some food to go."

"And coffee- you promised."

LATER

"I hope she doesn't think everyone here eats the way you do Lorelai, we have so much food here… it looks like we're trying to single handedly wipe out world hunger."

"Nah, just enough for dinner. Oh I hear a car. Let's go Lukey"

"I told you not to call me that."

"It's so much fun though, oh my god-"

"Lorelai, what's wrong?"

"I just saw her through the window."

"She's pregnant?"

She wasn't pregnant though.


	2. Meeting Kat

Once again, I sadly do not own anything Gilmore Girls related...

Please Review, even if it's negative... I can't improve unless I know what's wrong...

**LUKE**

She definitely wasn't pregnant. Lorelai was rambling on about Jess's girlfriend being thinner than Paris Hilton and something about that girl with a twin, but all I could focus on was how thin this girl was. I'd never seen anything like it. I'm not a big magazine guy and I sure as heck don't read those trash magazines that Lorelai leaves all over the house.

"C'mon Lorelai, let's go help her with her stuff."

"What about the food?"

"Forget the food. After you."

So we went out to meet them.

"Hey Jess. You must be Kat. I'm Lorelai and this is my husband, Jess's uncle, Luke"

"Hi."  
"Here, let Luke grab your bags and I'll show you where your room is."

Of course, leaving me to be the pack mule. I didn't mind though. I'll pretty much do anything for Lorelai... pretty much. There was that time she wanted us to wear costumes... and I told her she didn't need a costume to turn me on in the bedroom. We didn't even make it to the bedroom after that conversation, thinking about it.

Hmm. That was a good night.

"So, that's Kat."  
"That's Kat."  
"She's thin."

"Yeah. That would be why her parents kicked her out."  
"Because she's thin?"  
"She has an eating disorder Luke."  
"Oh."

Yeah... eating disorder might have been some part of that string of rambles Lorelai was saying when she saw Kat through the window... sounded familiar at least.

"So she doesn't eat?"

"I swear Luke, if you say anything dumb to her."  
"It was just a question, Jess."

"She has an eating disorder. She doesn't like to eat. Yes, she'll eat. But she just... you know what? I'm going to go find Lorelai."

**JESS**

The feeling that I was feeding Kat to the wolves was intensifying as I was heading to find Lorelai.

"Hey Lorelai, can we talk?"

"I'll leave you to unpack what Luke brings in, Kat. If you need anything, just ask."

I waited for her to leave the room

"Can we talk somewhere... "  
"Do you want to go on the porch."  
"The porch, out back, whatever."  
"Okay. Porch it is."

We didn't say anything until we got to the porch.

"She has an eating disorder, doesn't she?"  
"Thank you for actually knowing what that is."  
"She's pretty."  
"She's great. I just want to make sure you guys understand though."

"Understand what?"  
"That she has an eating disorder, because based on my conversation with my Uncle Luke, that may not be the case."  
"I know what that is Jess. Anyone who keeps up with celebrities would know what that is."  
"Just checking."

"So what's our role in this?"  
"I'm not understanding."  
"Are we supposed to make her better?"  
"Getting her out of her house will help that along. No doubt there."  
"Were they abusive?"  
"Something like that. Her parents live in West Hartford."

"West Hartford as in where my parents live?"

"On one of those streets with stupid names that in no way reflect where you're actually living. Orchard. There's no orchard anywhere near that place. Rich people are weird."


	3. Oh Cher I'm sorry?

**KAT**

Rich people _are_ weird. My parents being no exception. Lorelai found that out soon enough. After Lorelai showed me where to put my things and she went out to talk to Jess, I got a call from my father who wanted to see me. Lorelai came with me, because Jess had things he had to do.

He gave me money and then we left again. I asked Lorelai about her parents' house and we wound up driving by.

"What did your dad want anyway?"  
"He wanted to tell me he'd paid for my last year of Chilton and he gave me a debit card to another checking account " I said out loud, "and that he wouldn't be cutting off my credit card... thank goodness" I finished to myself.  
"That's nice... but..."

I knew what Lorelai was trying to ask. It didn't make sense that someone who wouldn't let me live with them would care enough to give me money...

"But why would he do that if he was kicking me out? Kicking me out was my mother's idea. It's weird, because he isn't even my real father."

"What?"

"Mathematically he couldn't be."

"Has she ever told you that?"

"Only that I wasn't planned and am lucky to be here."

"God... Anyway, my parents' house is right up here."  
"Is that your mom in the front yard gardening?"

"Shit. She's waving. Now we have to stop."

We pulled into the driveway.

"You know, I think I've seen her before, at a few of my parents' parties."

"Now we really have to get out and say hello... Hi mom!"

"Lorelai, what a pleasant surprise. I just came outside for a bit of fresh air before lunch. . If you were coming for lunch though you should've called. I don't have the proper number of settings set up…. It's just common courtesy you know."

"Well, we were just driving by; we really should be going anyway mom."

"We?" her mother asked.

"Yes, Kat and I. Kat the girl standing next to me. The girl I told you would be staying with me."

"Oh, hello."

"Hello Mrs. Gilmore."

"Now Lorelai, the polite thing would have been to introduce me to this delightfully well-mannered lady, before I looked like an idiot. You look quite familiar Kat."

"My father's Durk, you've been to a few of his parties."

"Durk... Durk Banks? Oh yes, I think you'd been introduced before as Katalina. They live in that French Chateau on Orchard."

"Yes, that's the one."

"You must come in to get something to eat then. Nevermind the settings."

"She's sick mom."  
"All she needs is a good meal to make her feel better, Lorelai."

"Mom."

"What is it Lorelai?"

"It just isn't a good idea."

"I don't understand why not. You're clearly not busy right now if you were just driving around West Hartford."

I was beginning to regret asking Lorelai to show me where her parents lived.

"I don't think I could do lunch... but I could probably have some coffee or something small."

"Are you sure?" Lorelai seemed uncertain by my compromise.

"Why wouldn't that be okay? Even if you're sick you have to eat something and I'm still not sure why you're driving around if she's sick."

"Are you sure, Kat?" Lorelai asked again, ignoring her mother.

"I'm sure."  
"We'd love to then mom."

**LORELAI**

The next two months passed rather quickly. Jess was always in town and out of town for stuff at his bookshop. They were opening another storefront in Hartford, which is how he'd actually met Kat. No surprise that it wasn't Jess that had shared that, but Kat.

Her eating has definitely improved. It turned out the reason her mother had finally broke, was because Chilton had sent them a letter telling them that Kat had become a liability to the school and that unless they got her help or had someone eat with her every day at lunch she could no longer go there. She also could no longer be on the track team until they thought she was making adequate progress. Why in the world someone would want to run track I'll never know... but then again, Luke did.

So I arranged to have a guidance counselor sit and eat with her once the school year started. Dinner at night was becoming normal. Things were starting to come together. Another month or two later and Kat's health was starting to come back.

"Kat, get up, it's time for breakfast," Luke barked.

"Luke. Do you have to be so loud?"

"She's going to be late, Lorelai. Kat, you're going to be late…"

"I'll go and check on her. Then you won't have to yell."

So I started heading to her room. As I started getting closer to the bathroom it sounded like someone was crying. So I knocked on the door.

"Honey, are you okay? "

No answer… other than the quiet tears.

"Can I come in?"

No answer.

"Kat, please answer me... Can I come in?"

The door finally opened and Kat was cuddled right by the door, arms wrapped around her legs

"What's wrong?"

"I started…"

"Started what?"

"My…"

"You're going to have to give me more than that."

"I'm riding the crimson wave."

"Oh, Cher I'm sorry?"

"I haven't had a period in years… They put me on progesterone at my last doctor's visit, but they weren't sure if it would work to jumpstart my periods again."

I wasn't sure what she was talking about

"It means… I'm starting to get better…"

She got up and started to hug me.

"I thought I would hate to… but for the first time ever, I think it's going to be okay… Thank you…"

"Oh Kat… Do you want to do something tonight to celebrate?"

"What?"  
"I know it sounds silly to celebrate this, but we could do something. I dunno, paint the town?"

"Taylor wouldn't like that."

"To hell with Taylor."

**KAT**

While I wasn't too upset with the blood and what it represented, I wasn't sure I actually wanted to celebrate this. It didn't quite feel like a celebration. Part of my brain was still telling me that, "_periods are reminders of our food sins_." I was trying so hard to push that away completely.

"I don't think it's a good idea," I couldn't help but say that.

"Well, if you change your mind... anyway, let's go get some breakfast."

"You know... I think I'm running late, I can just grab something," the eating disorder voice was starting to come back though I was trying to push it away.

"You and I are going to eat breakfast. You have time," I could tell Lorelai didn't like to be so firm sounding about that.

"Okay, but if I'm late..."  
"You can blame me."


	4. Fragile Beauty

Once again I own nothing… well Gilmore Girls related that is… except for a boxed set of the series…. The character Kat is of my own creation… she's based on me, loosely… she's meant to resemble no one else… not even me at times…

Please Review even if you hate it, tell me you hate it… I can't improve unless I know what's wrong…

and there WILL be a JavaJunkie baby... I promise!

**KAT**

A month went by

"So you're going to the movies tonight?" Lorelai asked

"Yeah, Jess is coming down from Hartford."

"So you and Jess are getting along okay?"

'That's a strange thing to ask."  
"Well, Jess dated my daughter and it wasn't exactly perfect... I just want to make sure things are okay. You know you can stay here even if they're not. Okay?"

"Lorelai."

"I'm serious. Are things okay?"  
"They're fine. Weird, but fine."

"Weird how?"

"We're not physical."  
"Physical as in...? I mean I don't care, but you need to be safe if you're having sex with Jess."

"Physical as in even kissing. We tried that, but it wasn't really our thing. We're more intimate emotionally."

"Really? And you're talking about Jess Mariano"

"It's odd… but true"

"That's good then. What do you plan on wearing tonight?"

"Dress, tights."

"That only describes nearly your entire wardrobe."

"I hate pants."

I hoped she wouldn't ask me why and she didn't... I think she knew I didn't want to delve into that. Jess arrived shortly after I went to get changed. He drove us to the movies and halfway through it Jess's phone started to ring.

"Turn off the phone," Kirk yelled.

"Jess…"

"Just a second… Uh huh… uh huh… okay I'll be there."

"Who was it?"

"The boys in Hartford. Something's wrong with one of the presses – just a second… Hey Joe can you come to the bookstore and pick up Kat and take her home? Yeah we're here watching a movie… I've got to go though. Nah, I don't want her walking home… Thanks"

"What was that about?"

"I have to go to Hartford. Only one there who knows how to fix it… Joe's going to come and pick you up. Love you. Be good."

"bye…"

"Bye."

So Joe came to pick me up. I got in, and we started towards Lorelai and Luke's

"Your ass looks great in my truck. "

"Joe…"

"It does. Milk sure did your body good."

"Are you drunk?"

"Nah… little vodka… some beer. nothing too bad. You know you should really have chosen me over Jess."

"I don't know you."

"You will tonight. Trust me."

All of a sudden I noticed my door lock… making me incredibly uneasy. I edged closer to it… Joe noticed though and put his arm around my waist pulling me back. He pulled into the Gilmore-Danes driveway, parked the car, and turned off the lights. He held onto my arm with his free hand while he unbuckled his seatbelt.

"What are you doing?"

"Be quiet."

"Joe. What the fuck are you doing?"

"Take off your tights."

"What?"

"I have a gun in the glove compartment."

"Joe, please."

"See?" He said opening the glove compartment.

I was frozen. I didn't even look in the glove box.

"Fine, then I'll just get the tights off…"

"Please Joe..."

I was begging.

"You know that's why you wore that dress, easy access. Damn tights… There we go… You're going to enjoy this… no reason to even open your mouth."

It was seemed like time was standing still. I could see his penis in this bush of fur. I felt frozen… He was so much bigger and stronger. How had this happened? What had I done? I didn't understand why it hurt so badly. He wasn't being gentle in the least and the pain was intensifying. I couldn't handle it. I started screaming and managed to kick the horn with my foot. It barely hit it though and made the smallest of noises.

I didn't know why or how it could hurt so badly. He jerked me after I hit the horn. Slapped my face to get me to quit screaming.

**LORELAI**

Luke and I decided to take advantage of the night alone and christen the stairs in our house. Something we had not gotten to do after the last remodel. I have some weird goal of having sex with him on every surface. To make the home truly ours. While we were in the middle of it, I thought I heard a noise. A horn. It didn't make sense though. My mind likes things that make sense so I couldn't shake it. Here I was trying to have sex with Luke and I couldn't shake this thought of why someone would be honking... and why I thought I heard muffled screams.

"Lorelai. Why are you stopping?"

"Didn't you hear that?"

"it was a car horn. Horns honk."

"Not in Stars Hollow. Not on my street. Not this late at night."

"Lorelai."  
"Listen."

"What is that?"

"See? It sounds like someone screaming."

"Okay. Let's go check it out."

"Angel. I'll make it up to you later... all the way up the stairs.'

So I slipped on his shirt and headed outside, Luke followed me after putting on his jeans and grabbed a flashlight on his way.

**LUKE**

I saw what was happening first... you could see these bodies flailing in the truck, not completely visible, but outlines due to the flashlight beam.

"Oh my God! The screams are coming from that truck Luke!." Lorelai yelled to me.

I ran towards the truck, the door was locked... It somehow got unlocked and I pulled the person inside out. It was Kat. She'd managed to unlock the door from the inside. She was shaking. Lorelai was right there and wrapped her arms around Kat. I was focusing on her too until I heard keys in an ignition. I pulled the door open again, incredibly angry at what I was guessing had happened, and yanked him across the truck bench and out.

I gripped the asshole's arms behind his back like a cop would do. I looked around and no longer saw Lorelai. I wanted to her to call the cops.

**LORELAI**

I had been holding Kat close to me when I noticed it... My leg getting damp… I looked down and noticed that my leg had blood on it… Kat's blood… I told Luke I was going to take her inside, but I don't think he heard me... He was pushing Joe up against the truck. I brought Kat into the house. I needed to call the police, but I didn't want to leave Kat alone though. Especially not after what had just happened… she looked so fragile… torn shirt, bloody white dress, tights around her ankles… shaking, crying, blood on her arm… simply a mess… it was amazing though how despite it all she was so beautiful that a it showed through, in spite of her fragile condition.

I called the police and told them a little bit about what happened, talking softly so that she would not have to overhear, staying within eyesight, so she wouldn't feel alone…It felt like the best compromise. When I hung up and waited for the ambulance and police to get there I sat down. Kat moved over towards me; put her head on my lap. I ran her hands through her hair, noticing that she was still bleeding… but from a place where I could do nothing to help it… My heart felt broken. Had we failed this girl?

Luke stayed outside dealing with Joe, until the police showed up… finally. It seemed like eons to me. Kat was shaking when they arrived…

I rode in the ambulance with Kat and the Luke followed behind in his truck. When we got to the hospital they wanted to collect evidence with their rape kit from Kat… who didn't want to be left alone. She clung to me. She begged them to allow me to be able to stay with her. They discovered that the reason she was bleeding was because Joe's forceful nature had torn the wall of her vagina… The poor girl was going to need stitches. After that, she was really tired, but the police needed to ask her questions. They entered and showed Kat pictures, asking her where, how, when, who? After they left Luke came in.

**LUKE**

"Your mom's on her way." I told her. Unsure of what else to say.

"Where's Lorelai?"

"Waiting at the front so she can show your mom where you are."

"I want Lorelai…"

"She'll be back…" I promised.

"Thanks for being there for me…"

"Don't thank me. Thank Lorelai, she thought she heard something."

"I feel so stupid, crying in front of you… you don't like crying..."

"Cry. Crying is very important."

"How long am I going to have to be here?"  
"I don't know. We can ask the doctors. I think I hear Lorelai…"  
"Here's your daughter."

I turned and saw Katherine in the doorway. A girl I had dated 18 years prior. When I was only 22.

"Luke! What the hell are you doing here?"  
"Katherine? This is _your_ daughter?"  
"No, it's _our _daughter."  
"Luke, what's she talking about?" Lorelai asked. Confused.  
"I don't know."

"She's his daughter."  
"You told me it wasn't my kid when I found out you were pregnant."

"Because I didn't want you in my life. Then or now."  
"Luke?" Lorelai asked.

"This is the ex I told you cheated on me."

"I didn't cheat on you Luke."  
"I thought you had when you told me you were pregnant with someone else's kid."  
"What's going on?" Kat said, clearly tired…

I hated Katherine for doing this to her – our? – daughter after what she'd just been through. Why did they have to call her? I hate lying, but I would have rather lied than have them call Katherine.

"Oh my god. I've got to go. Now. You know what Luke. Lorelai mentioned how she would love custody of her and you know what you can have it. I'll have my lawyers send you the papers. Bye. Oh my god!"

"You're my….?" Kat started to ask

"You're her…?" Lorelai started to ask

"Lorelai, are you okay?" I asked, pulling her into the doorway.  
"I think I need to sit down for a second." Lorelai whispered.

We walked down the hall to a waiting area... and I sat down next to her.

"I don't know what to say. I'm sorry?"  
"You didn't know."

"No, but I could have found out. I could have demanded a paternity test. Should I get one now?"

"That would hurt Kat... and I told you I thought she looked like you."

"God. I have a kid."

"We have a kid."

"We?"  
"We."

With that Lorelai got up, clasped my hand, and walked me back into Kat's room.

LORELAI

Driving home from the hospital was awful. We're talking no one spoke. I don't do well with silence, but this wasn't the type of silence you could break. Or felt like you could break. Luke just kept rubbing my hand as I drove. God, I love that man for moments like that. Pulling up, I saw Babette race out of her house, nearly tripping over a gnome she was going so fast.

"Lorelai! You're home. Morey! Morey! They're home!," Babette shrilled

"Oh no." I mumbled under my breath, "Hey Luke, can you just take Kat into the house while I talk to Babette?"

"Sure thing Lorelai; do you need help getting out Kat?"

She didn't say anything, just nodded. As I was opening my door to start walking towards Babette I could hear Kat inhale sharply, clearly still in pain from the stitches and the night before. I didn't want to think about that. I wanted to think about how this was a new day. Not wanting to have this talk with Babette either.

"How is the poor thing? I want to tell her how awful I feel. Awful. Right Morey? Don't I feel just awful? If I had just listened to my gut. My gut is often like my ankles are with storms... My great aunt was a psychic you know?" Babette rambled

"I didn't know," I responded. Goodness I was drained.

"Yeah. She was. It runs in the family, so I should've known. I am so sorry doll. I let you down."

"lt's no one's fault," I started, finishing it in my head with, "except that little asshole's."

"Can I at least tell her how awful I feel. How sorry I am? She's such a sweet one. You know? Haven't even known her that long and she brought me that gnome last week. Said Pierpont needed a new friend."

" I think she just needs some rest right now," trying to get Babette to understand.

"Rest. Sure sugah. Rest, that sounds right. Well, I am going to be keeping an eye out. Just holler if you guys need anything. Anything at all. And let her know, Kay doll?"

Thank goodness.

"will do and if you could tell everyone to give us some time? I would greatly appreciate it."


	5. My Daughter

**LUKE**

I'm good at fixing things. I have my toolbox, which Lorelai still insists on calling Bert, and I get it out when anything squeaks that isn't a mouse. God knows I've fixed more things for Lorelai than probably anyone else through the years. So it's not that I can't fix things for females... But this was different. I didn't know how I was going to fix what had happened. I had gotten rough with that Joe kid that night, but that sure as hell didn't fix things. It almost got me arrested for assault. How crazy is the world we live in that someone can do that to someone else and if I get a bit aggressive with them in return suddenly I'm the bad guy? The whole world has gone crazy.

Lorelai would probably tell me I'm ranting... so I'll get back to my point.

I can't fix this.

I still have a girl - my daughter? – in my house who was walking around like... I don't even know like what.

I'm good at fixing things, but not this.

**LORELAI**

The whole town seems to know about what had happened. The cops. The arrest. Babette witnessing a lot of it. They don't know the details, but they know enough... too much.

The whole time I've lived in Stars Hollow I don't ever remember this happening to someone. I don't even want to say it. It's like my own twisted version of "he who must not be named." Raped. She was raped. Voldemort! I said it!

And the whole town knows. The first time this has happened and it had to happen in our front yard.

Luke and I both thought Kat should stay home from school for a while after the incident, but she refused. She said she needed to get out of the house. I don't blame her. The whispers. They're not bad whispers, but how many times can you really listen to, "poor thing?" wherever you go?

We went to the town meeting, leaving Kat at home, and Taylor brought up the incident.

"You will not talk about my daughter like she's another item on the agenda! You won't do it Taylor! You won't!"

He'd said it... _my daughter_. The piece no one knew just yet. Whisperings.

"Your daughter, Luke?" Patti asked from the stage?

"**My** daughter. And while I do think this does show a safety concern, it's a private matter."

"I wasn't using her name Luke and your hostility is not going unnoticed." Taylor said.

"You're not using her name, but ya giving enough details that we all know ya mean her Tayla!" Babette chimed in.

She was saying what we were all thinking.

"It is a really personal thing to be bringing up in a town meeting." Patti stated

"Yeah," stated Gypsy

"She's already been victimized once, do we really have to discuss what happened here?" Jackson said.

"You hate when we bring up when you thought someone had been murdered outside your store and had an investigation." Patti stated

"Or that time ya slipped on a banana peel someone left for ya!" Babette chimed in

"I remember that. You wanted to find the culprit, but you didn't want anyone to talk about you. And afterwards? Heaven forbid anyone bring that up" Patti added.

"Yeah! And this is much worse. Let her be! We have police. Let them do their jobs!" Gypsy said.

"You know newspapers aren't even supposed to print the names of underage victims out of respect for their privacy," the Stars Hollow Gazette Editor stated.

That man never spoke up. But he had for this. I was so proud of my town.

"Well, I'm not a newspaper now am I?" Taylor said, not getting the message

"But you're an authority figure. An authority figure who is coming up for re-election soon and might have some competition. Someone who wouldn't gossip in a town meeting about something like what just happened." Jackson stood up saying.

"Who?" Sookie said, turning towards her husband.

"Me!"


	6. Don't Be Mad

**EMILY**

When Lorelai called me to tell me they weren't coming to Friday night dinner, I'd presumed it was because of the argument we'd gotten into the week earlier. That child can be so difficult at times. 

I probably shouldn't call her a child, because she's certainly not anymore... but she surely does act like it. 

I didn't know what had happened. 

'Hey Mom"

"Lorelai, you better not be calling me to cancel for Friday."

"Mom."

"Lorelai, I know you don't owe us anything of monetary value, but you owe me as your mother to keep me involved in your life."

"Mom."

"What is it Lorelai?"

"We probably will not be coming to Friday night dinner. I'm not sure if it's a good idea."

"What do you mean you're not sure if it's a good idea?"

"Something happened Mom."

"If you're referring to that incident last week, I'm sorry, but I didn't think talking about Katalina's parents was a taboo subject."

"It's not that Mom."

"Then what is it?"

"Kat just walked in, so I'll have to call you back later mom."

"You cannot just start a conversation like this and end it on a whim Lorelai."

"Bye Mom." 

And she hung up. I found myself calling and leaving voicemail messages. That girl will never learn that answering machines should tell a caller your name and that you'll call them back when you can and ask for the information required to do so. It shouldn't be little things that are meant to be humorous. Or pretending you are there when you clearly aren't. Or worse yet that darn, "Marco... Marco... Marco... Well, I guess we're not anywhere near each other, so leave a message and I'll get back to you and maybe we'll play some Polo" one. 

She didn't return a single one of my calls. Even though I did succumb to leaving messages after those awful automations. 

**KAT**

Every single day for the next two weeks it seemed Emily called our house. She left all of these message trying to make Lorelai feel bad. All of these messages full of disdain. Some I deleted before Lorelai heard them, some Luke deleted, and some escaped us both and went to Lorelai's ears. I told her we could go, but she said her mother needed to respect her decision and realize that she, Lorelai, knew what was best for her, Lorelai's, family. 

The phone calls from Emily had made me feel guilty. That I was messing up the relationship that Lorelai had somehow salvaged. Based on what she'd said of her childhood, salvaged seems the right word choice. 

So I found myself standing at the front door, Friday night after school let out. I told the maid who I was and apologized for what I felt might happen... I was shaking when Emily came to the door. Terrified about what I was about to do. 

"Kat! What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you, Mrs. Gilmore?"

"Did Lorelai send you?"

"No. Can I please talk to you?"  
"Come in."

She led me into the living room, where she'd been drinking a cup of coffee. It was still on the table.

"What brings you to Hartford, clearly not Friday night dinner."

"I want to apologize."

"What are you apologizing for?"  
"I'm the reason Lorelai hasn't wanted to come... Something happened – "

"- this mysterious something" Emily cut in, "This mysterious something that Lorelai couldn't seem to tell me anything about."

I felt this lump in my throat. I knew what I was about to say... What I was about to reveal. It felt awful, but I knew I needed to do it. I felt a weird responsibility to do it... I couldn't wreck Lorelai's relationship with her mother when she had saved me that night. 

"I think she didn't want to tell you, because it's about me. A few weeks ago, I was raped."

"Oh my God."

"Please don't do that. Please don't do that. I am tired of people pitying me. I was raped. Your daughter... she not only saved me by taking me into her home, but she helped save me that night... Lorelai and Luke heard part of it... saved me from getting further hurt. She was there for me at the hospital. She was there for me when my mother told me that I was Luke's daughter."

"What?"  
"Please just let me say this. She's been there for me since it happened. She's been overprotective, yes. But it's not because she's avoiding you. If you're going to be mad at someone, be mad at me."

"You're Luke's daughter."

"Apparently."

"So you're my granddaughter?"  
"I guess so Mrs. Gilmore... I probably should go. You're probably upset. I promise I'm not trying to keep Lorelai from Friday night dinners... like I said, I think she's just trying to protect me."

"I'd like you to stay."

"What?"  
"I'll have Gerta put another place at the table. I've only met you a handful of times. I'd like to get to know my other grandchild better. If you'll excuse me for a second though." 

**LORELAI**

"Did Kat say that she was doing something after school?" I asked Luke

"Nope."

"Where do you think she is?"

"I don't know... did you try calling her?"

"Yeah, no answer."

"I wouldn't worry about it. She's a teenager. Teenagers do stuff."

"She's just been so different lately."

"Her therapist said that's pretty normal. She's been eating though."

"I guess."

"Lorelai, we've been making sure we're eating breakfast and dinner with her. I reworked my schedule to make sure one of us is home every night for that. That's what the doctor said to watch."

"It just – is that my phone?"  
"I definitely don't have, 'Walk Like An Egyptian' as a ringtone"

"I love that you love me enough to finally know that song." 

I walked into the other room to grab my cell phone. It was my mother... She was pulling out the big guns. Actually calling my cell phone now. I took a deep breathe and picked up.


	7. Turtle

**LORELAI**

"Hey Mom"

"So you're finally ready to pick up your phone like a grown up and talk to your mother?"

"Yes. Like I said, things have happened and we needed some time."  
"Things like finding out Luke has a daughter. Which impacts me to you know. Katalina is my granddaughter. It would have been nice to have received a phone call divulging that bit of information. You will _not_ keep her from us Lorelai, you won't."

"How did you find that out?"

"Katalina came over tonight to apologize."

"She's over at my mother's, Luke."

"What?" Luke asked back and I shook my head, to signify I was confused too.

"She's over at your house?"  
"Yes, and she's staying for dinner. As I was saying, you will _not_ keep her from us the way you kept Rory from us."

"I was not planning on keeping her from you mom. I just wasn't sure if she was wanting to discuss what happened and I didn't want her to have to pretend that nothing had happened either. I don't know why you can't understand that and why you're so angry."

"I'm not angry Lorelai, I'm hurt."

And she hung up.

**EMILY**

I was hurt. I was incredibly hurt. I hung up the phone and found myself crying. I didn't even hear someone come up the stairs. It was Richard.

"I see Katalina has joined us for the evening. Emily, have you been crying?"

"She's our granddaughter, Richard. Our granddaughter."

"What in the world are you talking about?"  
"Katalina is Luke's daughter and Lorelai didn't even tell us."

"Are they sure?"  
"Katalina said they were."

"That would make her..."

"Our granddaughter, like I've been telling you."

**KAT**

Emily still hadn't returned so I went to the bathroom. I hated her huge mirrors. I hated looking at myself since what had happened. Lorelai and Luke had been even stricter with me about getting in all my meals, so I felt perpetually full. Full of food. Full of worthlessness. Full of feelings. I wanted to purge, but I never had before and there was nothing new enough in my body that I thought I could get it up. I called Lorelai instead.

"Hey kid."

I was starting to cry and I didn't know why.

"Kat?"

"Yeah. I'm here. I need to tell you something."

"I already know that you went to see my mother. Now I have no idea why you would do that voluntarily... but it's okay. Are you okay?"  
"I just didn't want to cause a rift in your relationship. You've already protected me. I needed to protect you. It just all has felt like so much and I couldn't handle that on top of everything else."

"Are you okay?"  
"Will you please come?"

"We can come... but are you okay?"

"I don't know... I feel like everything is... I don't know... It all of a sudden feels like too much. I feel so full right now. So incredibly full and I can't handle it."  
"Where are you?"  
"I'm in the bathroom... Sitting on the floor, so I don't have to look into that damn mirror."  
"You're beautiful and we will be there. Okay?"

"Okay."

So Lorelai and Luke came and things seemed okay. Okay until I started getting sick. I found myself having issues after meals keeping food down. My therapist thought it might be the stress.

Lorelai found herself getting sick also, but the cause of her sickness was for a very different reason.

**LORELAI**

**"**Hey Sookie"

"Hungry? I have some apple pie pancakes"

"I love fall and you. How's Jackson by the way?"

"You mean how is he feeling about the fact that he's campaigning again and will possibly have Taylor's job again?"

"Yes."

"I think what happened at the meeting a couple of months ago really got him riled up. Enough to really want to win this thing. He talks about it. I think reality might sink in if he does win, but for now it's good. How's Kat doing?"  
"She's still getting sick."

"And they don't know why?"

"Well, she hasn't been to a doctor... They think it's stress related, so we're just trying to keep meals nice and calm. Trying to get her to talk about things. You know."

"You don't think she's pregnant do you?"

"No."

I put down my fork.

"Lorelai, what?"

"Oh my god. I've got to go."

So I turned around and left. I went straight to my Jeep and to Hartford. I couldn't very well buy a pregnancy test in Stars Hollow.

I went back to my house and Sookie was in my living room.

"Shit Sookie! How did you get in?"

"Turtle."

"Turtle."

"You scared me at the inn. Then when you didn't come back, I thought I'd come here. You tend to show up here when you're stressed."  
"Maybe because it's my home Sookie. Quit playing Sherlock."

"What's in the bag?"  
"Sookie."

"What's in the bag."

"Fine, here." I said as I tossed her the bag from the drug store.

"Oh my god! Are you?"  
"I haven't taken it yet."

"Well, take it. I want to find out if there's going to be a cute little flannel wearing baby crawling around. This is good! This is good, isn't it?"  
"I think so. The timing would be weird with the stuff going on with Kat... and the fact that we just found out Kat is Luke's daughter... but yes, this would be good."

"Then go take it."

And that's how I found myself in a store buying a plaid men's shirt to cut up and sew into a baby onesie.


	8. Pants that Mock

I own nothing, once again, except that Boxed Set of DVDs and the Season One Soundtrack.

Review - positive or negative.

**LUKE**

I was at the diner, trying to take someone's order when Lorelai came in, some shopping bag in hand, and started pulling on my arm. She was trying to get me to go upstairs.

"Lorelai, what are you doing? I'm trying to take someone's order here."

"Follow me burger boy," she said giving me those eyes that make you give her whatever she asks for. It was no use.

"Hey Caesar, can you take care of this?"

I followed Lorelai upstairs.

"Lorelai, what's going on?"

"Remember when I told you that your food was making me fat?"  
"And I remember telling you I was surprised your metabolism hadn't given out long before."  
"Well, I need to apologize, because while you are making me fat, it wasn't your food."

"You're not making any sense."

With that she pulled out this little flannel shirt thing from her shopping bag. It took me awhile to realize it was a baby onesie.

"Lorelai?"

She nodded her head yes.

"We're having a baby?"

She nodded again.

"We're having a baby! There's a baby in there?" I put my hand on her stomach, for the first time noticing a slight curvature. Lorelai had mentioned it, but I'd thought it was in her head. Maybe it was knowing there was a baby in there that made me notice it... or maybe it had been there the whole time.

"Our baby. I'll have go to the doctor to confirm... but two positive tests kind of made it feel real enough to tell you."

"I can't believe we're having a baby."

"Are you happy?"

"Are you kidding me Lorelai? I'm SO happy right now. Hey, if you can hear me kid, it's your dad. I love you."

I was over the moon. The woman I had loved for so long. Who I had seen go through some awful relationships. Not only were we married and happy, but we were having a baby. It was about damn time.

"The baby can't hear you yet."  
"Well, in case they can, I want them to know who their dad is."

"They'll know. And the baby also can't see yet."

I was confused again.

"Which means we can celebrate. You may not have a bed up here anymore, but you still have counters."

**LORELAI**

You would have thought I would have noticed it in the shower, but I didn't. It wasn't until I went to put on my favorite grey work slacks that I realized I was fat.

I had noticed a curving starting... But not this. This was something not allowing me to button or even zip my beloved slacks. I had popped.

I needed Rory, but got her voicemail. Darn that child of mine and her work ethic. Next best thing?

"Kat! Help! SOS! Wardrobe crisis!"

I heard her footsteps up the stairs

"What's wrong?"

"My pants won't fit."

"It was bound to happen. You're pregnant"

"Don't mock I need help. Besides I thought I had so much time before this happened" motioning towards my distended stomach, "I am not that far along"

"It is your second... But let's think. Any stretchy pants?"

"Not that are work appropriate and I don't want any more of them mocking me."

"Okay. Let's do a dress. It'll be comfier than trying to find a pair of pants that button. You won't get mocked by them either. Most of your dresses are form fitting or jersey... Which will hug it. Are you trying to show it off?"

"Not while it looks like I over ate. Ugh. I do not want to wear yoga pants to work. It would just give Michel more ammo"

"I hate to say this, but you don't look like you overate. I look like I overate. You look like you've popped."

"Not helping and you're getting healthy"

"and you're growing a baby. You know what. I have a dress that will work"

"I weigh a lot more than you."

"This dress has been in my closet for ages with tags still on. From my short lived modeling days. An Emily Ryan dress. It will work. I guarantee it."

"We'll see," I said very much still skeptical

But she was right. Not only did it fit, but it was cool. It had this vibe to it.

"Thank God for you and this dress."

"And it will work for dinner tonight too."

"Hmm... You're right it will. Are you coming right from your doctor's appointment?"  
"That's the plan."

"Do you want Luke and I to come with you?"

"I don't think so... I mean if the lab results had anything bad on them they would've said over the phone."

I wasn't so sure. Every time I had ever had bad lab results they'd asked me to come in to discuss them.

"Well, if you change your mind just call us. We're going up that way for Friday night dinner anyway."

"OK, I will just be glad when they figure out why I'm getting sick, losing weight, and why my stomach is becoming slightly distended"

"I will be glad too. We've been worried about you. I hate to say this though, but looking at the time, are you ready to go get breakfast?"

"I still feel a bit off"

"You need to eat breakfast. There are a lot of people right now thinking you aren't doing what you're supposed to be doing because you've been losing weight."

"I am doing what I am supposed to be. My stomach is proof of that."

"Then let's go. I kind of feel like having some of Sookie's pancakes at the inn"

"Hmm..."

"Let's head over there and we can talk about that 'hmmm' over there"

So we headed to the inn, driving separately so Kat could head to Chilton right from there.

"Hey ladies"

"Hey Sook!"

"Both of you are here, so breakfast I take it?"

"You know us too well. Baby wants some of those apple pie pancakes"

"The pregnancy test pancakes?"

"Hey. Clearly the little one likes them if he decided to make me realize I was pregnant while eating them?"

"Good point. Let me whip some up. So anyway, that dress is amazing. Not your normal, but amazing"

"Thanks, it's Kat's"

"Yeah, I got it a few years ago."

"And it fits me, which is a miracle in my current state"

"Oh my god! You popped! Stand up. Stand up. Let me see"

I stood up and pulled the dress tight.

"How excited was Luke?!"

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? I mean you're growing his baby in there. He had to be excited to finally be able to tell."

"I didn't show him."

"Oh honey."

"What?"

"You're not 16 this time. Luke is going to be excited this exhibit of manliness is finally showing."

"I guess... Was Jackson excited"

"Are you kidding? Don't you remember how protective he was over it?"

"I had forgotten about that."

And I had. It hadn't occurred to me this might be something Luke would want to be involved in... The act of my stomach growing.

**KAT**

I was glad for the conversation happening in front of me. Not only for Lorelai. I was definitely excited for her and Luke to be taking this natural next step, but also because it took their eyes off of me. I could sit there and only semi eat the pancakes that Sookie put onto my plate.


	9. Happy Birthday to Me

**KAT**

My day didn't get much better either. At school I was told I was going to have to start eating in the guidance counselor's office again. Moving to Stars Hollow and having to eat in her office had caused me to lose a lot of friends.

Some of the track girls still talked with me and came to the hollow from time to time, but with my mandatory meal times I wasn't able to go to Hartford much.

After school I went to Hartford for my doctor's appointment.

I sat in the waiting room filling out forms. I was thinking about how Luke was my father but didn't even realize that that today was my birthday. My mother hadn't called either. I didn't feel like celebrating so I had no reason to tell anyone. Except I guess whoever actually read those forms. 18. Legally an adult.

I felt like an adult in so many ways... Except around food. That made me feel like a child. It was a weird thing to think about and realize. Weird puzzle to connect in my head.

My thoughts were interrupted by the nurse who asked me to come back.

She told me to change into the gown and my doctor would be right in. I wasn't sure why I was having to change into a gown. Especially if everything was all right like I had thought, but I did it. Probably just to get my weight. Something everyone always seemed to want to do.

My doctor came through the door.

"Hi Katalina, how are you feeling today?"

"Tired, but good. It was a more successful day at being able to keep food down."

"That's good. Is Luke or Lorelai with you?"

"Nope. I didn't think they really needed to come. You didn't say anything was off with the results on the phone, so I figured I would let them have some alone time. Lorelai's pregnant, you know?"

"I didn't know that... But I didn't say anything on the phone because I felt like what I have to tell you should be done in person."

"That doesn't sound like everything is okay... Were my labs bad?"

"Well, not nearly as bad as they used to be when you first started seeing me"

"Then what's wrong? Do you know why my weight is going down and why I have been getting sick? It makes no sense because my stomach is distended. People keep on saying I am lying about my intake and my stomach is distended due to malnourishment. Which isn't true... you believe me though don't you?"

"I do believe you. Especially now that I think I have an explanation. You're pregnant."

I thought I had misheard her.

"What?" I asked to clarify.

"You're pregnant. I checked the results myself."

I sat there silent. Not knowing what to say.

"Are you okay? I didn't schedule an appointment for after this, so if you need to talk. We do have some things to discuss as well."

In that moment. I didn't want to discuss anything.

"Can I be alone for a second?"

"Can you promise me you won't harm yourself if I step out?"

"Yes."

And she left me. Feeling even more cold and even more alone in that room than I had while I was waiting for my doctor to come in in the first place. I called Lorelai. I needed her there. Like some clingy little puppy dog, I needed her there.

**LORELAI**

"So why are we in Hartford early again?" Luke asked, annoyed.

"I need clothes and this mall is better."

"I hate malls"

"I hate not having my clothes fit. I assure you that you will regret not taking me shopping while some of my clothes still fit. Because if I ever went to my closet and most did not, I would be worse than I am when I am caffeine deprived"

"Which should be all the time as you promised you wouldn't drink coffee as long as you are housing our baby"

"I promised you after we went to the doctor on Monday that I would try to cut back on coffee. It's not Monday yet and not the 'try to' and 'cut back' no eliminate in there."

"But I made you promise that before I truly stopped to think that our baby is clearly growing. Seeing this little guy popping out? It makes me more firm. Coffee is poison. Our baby is not drinking poison due to your bad habits."

"You serve it at the diner."

"Lorelai"

And my phone rang.

"Saved by the ring."

"We're not done with this conversation."

"Hey Kat! You have excellent timing," I said grinning smugly at Luke, "How'd the doctor go?"

"Please come."

"What?" I motioned for Luke to stop rambling in the background.

"Please come. You said if I needed you here, you would come."

"What's going on?"

"Please just come." Her voice sounded strained. Begging.

"We'll be there soon... We're at the mall."

"Hurry?"

"I promise. We'll head that way now. What's the address?"

I wrote it down and we hung up.

"What was that about?"

"I don't know, but we've got to go. She sounded awful."

"Like bad awful?"

"Is there a good awful?"

So we headed back out to the car and drove to her doctor's office. I told the receptionist why we were there. A few minutes later her doctor appeared and brought us back.

**LUKE**

I hate hospitals almost as much as I hate malls... Okay... Now that I am thinking about it, more than I hate malls. There typically aren't people dying in malls and you also don't see people's butts. At least not constantly. I was very glad Kat's doctor had a private practice outside of a hospital. That's one of the reasons Lorelai picked that specialist for Kat. She knows me well.

Going in there not knowing what was up was scary. Even though I have only known Kat's my daughter for three months I already feel some fatherly duty. I need her to be okay. No matter what the doctor said I would make sure she was okay.

"So what's going on?" Lorelai asked, "Kat seemed really upset on the phone. Were her lab results really off again?"

"Her lab results have improved immensely since you first brought her here."

"Then what?"

"I was getting to that. The latest batch also reveal that she's pregnant."

My jaw dropped.

"You're pregnant?"

"Apparently. Happy birthday to me."

Lorelai looked at me questioningly after Kat said that mouthing, "it's her birthday?"

"I have the equipment to do a sonogram and take some measurements so we can find out how far along. I made sure I would have it available for this appointment."

"I know how far along. I've only had sex once, 3 months ago."

Lorelai's hand went over her mouth. I could hear her inhale.

"There is some variation between conception and time of intercourse, so I would still like to check. Is that okay?"

"I don't know."

"It'll be fine Kat," Lorelai said, "it doesn't hurt."

"Only if you stay in here"

"I can do that"

I left the room. When I came back it was exactly as Kat had said. The doctor said she was 11 weeks along. I wanted to kill Joe more than I had that night.

KAT

I was fairly numb through it all. So thankful to Lorelai for being there. She offered to let the doctor check her as well, so I wouldn't feel alone in the process. My doctor obliged... Understanding my discomfort. We were both 11 weeks.

My doctor started talking about complications... in particular from having an eating disorder. How it was an incredibly high-risk pregnancy and that the act of carrying a child to term and delivering would possibly kill me. Especially if I did not gain a substantial amount of weight.

**LORELAI**

"As a medical doctor? What would you recommend," Luke asked

"Since she is not into her second trimester, I would recommend considering termination"

"And that wouldn't be dangerous?"

"Not if done in the next week or so."

"Okay let's do that."

"Hold up," I interjected

"Lorelai!"

"We need some time to talk about this."

"And since Kat is now 18 it is currently her decision," her doctor added

"There is no decision here," Luke argued.

"Luke, please. Let's go out into the hall for a second," I pulled on his arm.


	10. Not 16 Anymore

**LUKE**

I didn't want to go out into the hall. At least not to talk. I wanted the hell out of this place. Why Lorelai was even arguing about something that would save my kid is beyond me.

"Lorelai, what the hell is going on in there?"

"Luke."

"Lorelai!" My voice raising further.

"Please. This is Kat's decision. She's the one that has to live with the choice either way."

"If she doesn't choose to do what the doctor says she won't be living with the other choice, because she won't be alive."

"It's her choice like I made a choice many years ago to keep Rory and not marry Christopher when I found out I was pregnant. Like Katherine made a choice to keep Kat from you. Like you made a choice to marry me after all. Some choices result in good things."

"And some choices are stupid."

"Yes. But the choice is with Kat. She's 18. We need to support her while she takes time to make a choice. She's probably sitting there in shock. I'm shocked."

"I sure as hell am shocked."

"and you heard what he said. 11 weeks. It was that night. You know it was. It was probably that night for our baby too. The condom did rip that night you said. We made a choice not to get a morning after pill."

"Okay Lorelai. Choices. I get it. I'm still not happy. I would like to get to know my daughter."

"No matter what she chooses we need to support her. And having that child doesn't mean death, if she chooses that. It just means we need to take preventative methods to reduce the heightened risk."

"Would you be saying this if she were your daughter? If she were Rory?"

"She's not Rory, but she is my daughter."

That woman infuriated me, but I couldn't help but love her at the same time. Loving her enough to agree to still go to Friday Night Dinner.

**EMILY**

They were late. I hate tardiness. Everyone knows when drinks are served. Drinks need to be served on time so dinner can begin promptly on time. It's common courtesy. Not only to myself but also to the help. Which knowing them... maybe being late wouldn't be so bad, because then maybe dinner would actually begin when we're ready for it. I need to fire that maid... and my new cook. Tardiness is bad, but tardiness when you're being paid? Unacceptable.

The doorbell rang. After yelling for the maid to get it (I reiterate my need to fire her), I opened the door myself. It was Luke, Lorelai, and Katalina as expected.

Something was off with the three of them though.

"You're late."

"We were at the doctor and I have a surprise for you."

"Well, come into the living room. Give Flora your coats."

"Flora?"

"My new maid."

"Isn't that the name of one of the fairies from Sleeping Beauty?"

"Lorelai, please. Come into the living room."

I headed into the living room. When I turned around I noticed what Lorelai was wearing.

"What are you wearing Lorelai?"

"A dress."  
"I know it's a dress, but it doesn't look like something from your wardrobe. It's lovely."

"Gee thanks mom." Lorelai said saltily.

"I didn't mean it like that Lorelai, just that it was lovely even though it's not your normal style."

"It's Kat's."

"Oh."

With that Richard entered.

"Sorry, I was finishing up a phone call. I don't see anyone with drinks. What does everyone feel like having? Shirley Temple for you Katalina."

"Or water."

"And what about you Luke?"  
"Scotch."

"Luke." Lorelai whispered just loud enough for me to hear.

"I'd like Scotch please, Richard."

"Good man. And you Lorelai?"

"I'd like to keep Kat company, so I think a Shirley Temple for me as well."

That was odd.

"I'll have a martini."  
"Already started to make it."

"Thank you Richard."

He came over with the tray and started handing them out. I noticed Luke was quite quick to finish his off.

"Would you like me to refresh your drink?"

"That would be great."

"While you're doing that Dad, I have a surprise for you."  
"That is what you said when you entered."  
"Well, here it is." Lorelai took something out of her purse and put it on the table.

"Oh my god."

It was a sonogram. While Luke had not been my first pick for Lorelai. She was obviously happy. She had been married for awhile now. This seemed like the logical next step. I had imagined this day would come eventually and was absolutely relieved and happy that she had chosen to share it with me. That I was not finding out about this in an argument or through someone else... like that friend Sookie of her's (who I need to get a new chef recommendation from)

"What was that Emily? What's the surprise."  
"Richard."

"Emily, the surprise was not me."

"Richard, come over here," I said picking it up.

"I'm coming. Luke here's your glass back."

"thank you."

"Now just what is this sur- oh Lorelai! Are you pregnant?"

"Yes, we are."

"This calls for congratulations."

**LORELAI**

Congratulations? This wasn't going quite like I had thought. I hadn't thought it would be terrible, but I definitely didn't think they were going to congratulate me. Sookie was right, I definitely wasn't 16 anymore.


	11. I'm a Tornado

Not my best work... Not 100% in character... for Lorelai. But I rather think something happening like this would nag at her heart. I think she would be more vulnerable. Like when she broke up with Luke... A bit broken. I don't know... I think it would change her. I think she wouldn't be quite as bantering 100% of the time.

**LUKE**

"This congratulations goes for you too, son!" Richard said to me

"Thanks. Can I get another scotch?"

"You're right! We need to toast!"

A toast wasn't what I had in mind, but anything for another drink.

"Luke," Lorelai said

"Lorelai."

"What is going on you two? This is a celebration. Does Rory know?"

"She was the third person I told."

"Good. How far along are you Lorelai? When will we be expecting our grandchild?"

"I'm 11 weeks."

She was just sitting there. Celebrating. I mean, I get it. I am excited she's pregnant too. But I didn't feel like celebrating tonight. I didn't understand why Lorelai had to take out that sonogram and tell them tonight.

"Dinner is ready Mrs. Gilmore," the maid said.

"Thank you Flora, we'll be right in."

We went into the dining room where my mood didn't improve. Even though the conversation shifted, it still felt so petty. So little. So fake.

"If you excuse me Emily and Richard, I'm going to use the restroom." I said while standing up.

"Luke," Lorelai said begging me not to go, "Please."

"Lorelai, I am not going to sit here and continue to act like everything is okay."

"What's he talking about?" Emily asked.

"Nothing mom," Lorelai answered.

"Nothing? You think the fact that we were told today that not only is my daughter pregnant, but that the pregnancy might kill her is nothing?"

"That's not what I meant Luke and you know it."

"What do you mean? Is Katalina pregnant?"

"Yes, Emily she is. A result of what happened earlier this year. We just found out today. The only reason Lorelai had that sonogram picture is because she let Kat's doctor check her out too so Kat wouldn't be so afraid."

I didn't even see Kat sit down her napkin and rush out. I was too angry, but Lorelai did.

**KAT**

I grabbed my purse and coat out of the coat closet. I went out to my car and put my keys in the ignition. It seemed starting my car also started the tears. I just sat there like that. Turned off the engine. Not able to drive, but not able to muster up the energy to go back inside. It all hurt. It all hurt like when Chilton had sent a letter to my parents telling them I would not be allowed to return unless I sought medical help for my eating disorder... It hurt like when my mother and I went prom dress shopping and for some reason this zipper on the dress my mother thought I had to have wouldn't zip up and she told me she was done with me.

I was a walking tornado. Leaving destruction everywhere. I was worthless... and I hurt everyone. I had ruined such a happy moment for Lorelai and Luke. I was ruining it. I needed to exercise. To starve. To take pills. To cut. To do something... to compensate for everything. I'd taken more than my share. I'd taken more than I was worth. I needed to leave.

I turned the key in the ignition again. Only this time instead of tears starting up (though they'd never quite quit – only slowed), a tapping on my window did. I turned to look. It was Lorelai.

**LORELAI**

I don't know if it was the hormones or if I was maturing. Maturing into Rory? I wanted to be so angry at Luke, but instead I was sad. Sad for him. Sad for Kat.

I kept tapping on her car window, until she rolled it down.

I put my arms in, resting them on top of the glass. To try to make it so she couldn't back away if she didn't like the conversation.

"Hey kiddo." No answer. "Do you want to go for a drive?"

"I don't know."

"Well, you're sitting in your car and your engine is on. So it's either that or you want to choke on some fumes."

"I just wanted to get away."

"Let's go for a walk."

She dropped her hand from her keys and finally turned to look at me.

"I mean, it beats sitting around here."

She opened the door and we started walking. I said nothing. I wanted to give her the first words.

"I don't know what to say," she started.

"I don't either."  
'What happened in there... I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

"Why in the world are you apologizing?"

"I'm ruining everything."

"You're not ruining anything. Luke. Your dad. He's just... he's just reacting."

"To me."

"To news that rocked his world. I mean, he just found out about you and now he's told something might come between him actually getting to know you? That's hard."

"Which is my fault."

"This isn't your fault."

"He was angry."

"I'm angry too. I'm angry at that asshole who thought he could do this to you."  
"But in turn I'm doing something to you guys... I mean with whatever I decide."

"You're not doing anything to us. You're making a choice. Yes, it impacts us... but this choice wouldn't have even had to have been made had that... ugh I wish Rory was here so I would have another word... but I guess asshole it is. This choice wouldn't have had to have been made had that asshole not done this. The choice you make. Whatever it is. It's okay. We'll be here for you. Yes, Luke is angry with life right now. But I promise you he loves you. I promise you we'll get through this. I promise you we want you. I promise you all of that."

"It's all so... fucked up. I'm sorry."  
"Don't apologize. Say it's fucked up. It's fucked up"

"It's fucked up."

"There you go!"

"It's also fucked up that I think I want to keep this child."  
"that's not fucked up. It's also not fucked up if you decide you don't want to."

"It feels fucked up – from what Luke is saying."  
"As I said, he'll figure it out. We'll get through this. Do you want to talk about this... or is it too soon?"  
"There's been so much hate in my life. My therapist says there's been losses. The loss of having Luke in my life as a child. The loss of my parents – in a way. The loss of my innocence. The loss of self worth... I'm not sure if it's right to create another loss."

"It's about what feels right to you."  
"He killed a part of me that night. A part that was starting to heal. I don't know that that gives me the right to kill something... someone else. What do you think?"  
"I think.. well, I know, that's we'll support you in whatever you decide to do. And whatever outcome goes along with that choice. Also, I want to tell you that I'm sorry as well."

"For?"

"For it coming out like that tonight. It should have been your choice."

"You didn't tell them and it was going to come out at some point."

"It didn't have to come out like that though."


	12. Scooping East Side Tilly

_**Reviews are always appreciated... and alas, I own nothing.**_

**KAT**

The days passed. We didn't outwardly talk about it. About the decision to be made. Things in the house felt different. It felt like the air changed when I would enter. Not in a bad way exactly, but it felt like I was scattering sadness wherever I went like some sort of a twisted flower girl.

One night I decided to change that though. I knew Luke and Lorelai were planning on announcing the pregnancy at the town meeting. So that morning, I got up early and went to meet Jess. He had bought over a hundred balloons with pieces of metallic confetti in them. Tons and tons and tons of balloons.

**JESS**

The first time Kat had called me after I'd left town on a more permanent basis she asked me if I knew where she could find balloons. Balloons filled with glitter. Glitter that would fly everywhere when the balloons were popped. I didn't ask her what they were for. I just knew I wanted to help her. More than I had that night. So I found myself hunting for balloons. I couldn't find any anywhere near what she wanted. So I wound up spending my night filling up balloons.

First I tried to fill them up with glitter, then I accidentally popped one and noticed the glitter was too busy being stuck to the inside of the balloon that the effect was minimal. A little bit of the glitter got on me, but that was about it.

Sad attempt at an explosion at best. So I went back out and got metallic confetti.

That seemed to do the trick.

I hadn't gotten much sleep when it was time to meet Kat. I looked like an idiot driving down the interstate with a hundred and seven balloons in my car. But for Kat, I could handle that.

"Hey," it was all I could say. The first time seeing her in person since I left. I couldn't quite make eye contact, "so I got the balloons"

I turned towards my car to maintain my aversion

"I had to switch from glitter to metallic confetti. The glitter mainly stuck to the inside of the balloons."

"Did you test them? You have glitter in your hair"

My hands immediately went to my hair.

"Or something..."

"You should come," she said. It sounded more like a request than just a regular invitation.

"They'll know something's up if I'm there."  
"You could meet us at the house afterwards."

"You sure."  
"Jess. I think I know why you left. Because of how mad Luke was... You didn't do anything to me though. Luke knows that. Even Lorelai knows that," her voice was soft as she said that. Gentle, "and you're my cousin apparently. Luke would want you there. He'd like to see you."

"Okay."

"Okay as in yes you'll come... or okay as in you'll try."

"Okay as in you better not tire of my face today."

"Okay. I'll see you there."

**KAT**

On my way back my phone rang. My absence apparently had not gone unnoticed.

"Hey kiddo, where are you? We got up this morning and realized you aren't here," Lorelai said.

"Oh, I had to go run an errand really quick"

"Run an errand?" she sounded unsure of my response

"Yeah, I should be back really soon for breakfast."

"OK. But you can't just leave like that."  
"I promise it was for a good reason."

"Next time, you have to let us know where you are. I need to know where my kid is if she's not in her bed early in the morning."

Her use of "my kid" didn't go unnoticed.

"You wanted me to wake you up? Because I think we both know that wouldn't have boded well."  
"Kat."

"Okay Lorelai, point taken. I've got to go though, I'm dropping something off and I just pulled up."

I was at Miss Patty's. I saw Sookie and Miss Patty standing there waiting for me. I got out of my car.

"Now what in the world has made you ladies want to be up so early in the morning? I need my beauty sleep you know."  
"Well, as I mentioned yesterday, I wanted to drop off some balloons for the town meeting, for you to hand out to people as they come in," I reminded her.

"That's easy enough, but what are we celebrating?"  
"You'll know. Trust me you'll know," Sookie said.

"And if you can tell people to pop them when the time is right? There's sparkle confetti inside."

"I do love a glitzy show. Balloons. Banging noises. Confetti flying through the air. Reminds me of a show I used to dance for," she took a long drag of her cigarette. A nostalgic look in her eyes.

"Where did you find the balloons?" Sookie asked  
"Jess tracked them down in Hartford for me. I told him it was important. Based on the glitter in his hair, I think he filled them himself. He told me he wound up getting metallic confetti instead for a better effect. Haha."

"Jess had glitter in his hair?"  
"Yep. That was the original plan, but he said it didn't work as well."

"And why are the balloons important?"  
"You'll see and thank you so much for this."

"And even though you don't quite know yet, because you had all the balloons and gave them out everyone will think you did," Sookie added.

"And I will have scooped that East Side Tilly!" Patti exclaimed.

"We'll go get you those balloons from her car and like we said tell everyone that they'll know when to pop them - or just to follow your lead," Sookie instructed.

"So I'll know when."

"I'd be shocked if you didn't," I said.

"and be sure to give one to everyone. I want every single person to have a balloon," Sookie said.  
"Including Luke and Lorelai?"  
"Who says this is about them," I questioned.

"Your mysterious nature coupled with your fluidity would make you a wonder. You should come dance with me. We could do private lessons," Patti stated.  
"Let's go get those balloons," Sookie prodded to try to prevent me from becoming one of Miss Patty's ballerinas.


	13. Enjoy the Asylum

**LORELAI**

"She can't be running off like this," Luke said.  
"I know. I told her that," Lorelai.

"In the same breath that you called her 'kiddo' in. Kiddo isn't firm Lorelai."

"I know."

"Do we even know what she was doing?"

"She said running an errand. And I know. But I trust her. What has she really ever done to disrupt that trust? Besides food related things? And she said she'd be home for breakfast."

"I just worry Lorelai. I've never had a kid. I mean, I had Jess for awhile... but how did that really turn out?"  
"It turned out okay."

"If I remember you didn't think it was turning out so okay when he was living under my roof."

"I know, which is why it pains me to be wrong and say that he's turned out good. He turned out good because of you."  
"This is different."

"I know," I said as I heard the door open.

"Hey. Sorry about not leaving a note or whatever. I just really had to go get something to drop off with someone," Kat said as she entered the kitchen

"What and to who?" Luke questioned

"Just something to someone."

"Well, Queen of Vague, next time? Let us know. I don't care if you stick a post-it note to my head, let me know so I don't freak out when I call your name and get no response... 'Kat... Kat... Kat where art thou' is not a fun game to play. Be the Marco to my Polo, please and thank you."

"Yes Polo," Kat responded.

"You two are crazy."

"That would make you crazy too... to live with us and procreate with me. Welcome to the fun house."

"I've got to go to work. Enjoy the asylum without me. And eat some breakfast Kat. I made eggs, waffles, bacon... all your basics. And I'll see you later at the town meeting."

"I'm excited."

"Further proof of your craziness."

"What Luke? Aren't you excited to let everyone know about your spawn? Besides this baby is making itself known at least this way people will know I'm not getting fat."

"You don't look fat and I don't like people in my business. However, if it makes you happy."

"It'll definitely make you happy in turn tonight."

"Not in front of Kat, please Lorelai."

"Dirty! Of course not in front of Kat. That's for the bedroom."

"Lorelai," Luke said sufficiently unamused.

With that he left. Leaving me to eat breakfast with Kat.

"So what do you want?"

"I don't know."

"You've got to eat kid."

"I know. Are there some egg whites?"  
"You can't have just egg whites. Since your father left I can say this, I know you're leaning towards keeping this child. If you choose to do that you need to be increasing your calories. I called your doctor and she said that's the only way to decrease the risks."

"Okay. If you put the same things on my plate that you put on yours I will try to eat what you eat..."

"Really?"  
"I will try. But you have to be my Thelma"

"Okay Louise."

**KAT**

Matching Lorelai bite for bite was one of the hardest things to do. But I pretty much did it. Then I went to put on my Chilton skirt and noticed how the waistband felt tighter. I tried to push that out of my mind though and concentrate on how excited Lorelai would be that night.

**LUKE**

If it were anyone but Lorelai, I would never have agreed to announce her pregnancy at the town meeting. That thing is always a circus. Case proven when we were both handed balloons as we walked in.

"What's the balloon for?" I asked Babette who handed me one

"You're supposed to pop it. Patty says you'll know when sugah!" she answered

I turned to Lorelai

"Hey! Don't look at me. I like balloons!"

"Where's Kat?"  
"I see her, looks like she found a spot by Sookie and Jackson."

After we took our seats we had to listen to Taylor being anal. Not as bad as usual. He must realize he has a chance of losing the election. He doesn't have me fooled though.

**LORELAI**

Being handed a balloon might have made Luke Mr. Grumpy Pants, but it made me happy. What better place than in a room full of balloons to say that I was pregnant. At the end of the town meeting, I stood up.

"Yes Lorelai?"  
"I just wanted to let everyone know that Stars Hollow is going to be having a new resident."

"You're pregnant!" Patty exclaimed popping her balloon.

Soon the room was full of the noise of popping balloons and sparkling pieces of confetti flying everywhere. I turned to Luke, who was also standing and kissed him. It was everything I could have imagined telling the town would be. When we stopped kissing I noticed Kat had left.

"Where'd Kat go?" I asked no one in particular

"Her phone rang so she stepped out," Sookie said

"Did you do this?"

"Kat called me with the idea."

"Thank you."  
"Yes, thank you for getting stuff all in my hair."

"It's not in your hair, it's on your baseball cap... and it was perfect Mr. Grumpy"

"I'm happy if you're happy."  
"I'm very happy and your baby will be very happy if we go get something to eat."

"Well, Kat told me to instruct you both to go home after this – before she left to answer her phone," Sookie said.

"Well then! I guess our adventure gets to continue. Come on Lucas!"

So we went home and found a spread of desserts along with Jess.

**LUKE**

Kat did good. It was truly a perfect gift to Lorelai. Lorelai had wanted telling the town we were pregnant to be special and magical and Kat made it happen. Jess being there made me happy. So she took care of both of us.

In some weird way it made her feel even more like family. Like she's becoming more entangled in our lives. I know she has this choice to make. I feel like it's been made though. She doesn't walk around like she has a weight on her shoulders. I would if I were making that sort of decision. You know?

"Tonight was perfect," Lorelai said as she was getting undressed.

"It was."

"Even though you got stuff on your baseball cap."

"For you I can get stuff on my baseball cap."

"Well thank you. Hmm..." She was staring into the mirror

"What?"  
"Our little nugget seems to have enjoyed the cake. She's popped a little. She'll probably recede in the morning, but look."

"She?"  
"Rory was a girl, so it's habit."

"Because it could be a boy you know," I said getting out of bed.

I walked over to her and put my hand on her stomach. Strumming up and down the curvature.

"I like this."

"I like that you like this bump. I just hope you still like it when it gets massive. I assure you it will."

"It's us. Of course I'll still like it."

"I worry about Kat."  
"How'd we switch topics?"

"About what will happen when she starts getting a bump."

"Oh. Well, it's a baby not fat and that's if she decides to keep it."

"I'm pretty sure she is deciding that."

"Lorelai," my hand dropped from her stomach.

"I didn't tell her to make that decision and trust me I want her to be alive and well just as much as you. I love that girl."

"Okay. We can get through this. We just need to make sure she eats, right?"

"Right."


	14. Expulsion

**Reviews are appreciated.**

**and sorry for the unknown spurts of time between new chapters. Work and life... eh.**

**KAT**

When I woke up that morning, I knew I was in trouble. While it may have taken Lorelai getting dressed for her to realize her body had expanded, I knew it the instant I opened my eyes. I could feel it.

When I went to put on my Chilton skirt, my suspicions were confirmed. It wouldn't button. I didn't even want to think about it. I wanted to pretend this wasn't happening. Logically I knew it would happen at some point. I just didn't want that point to be today... or tomorrow. I couldn't sit down and reflect. I grabbed a hair tie from my dresser and looped it through the buttonhole and around the button. My blazer could cover it. When I went to tuck in my shirt though, I noticed you could visibly see a bump. Not a massive bump, but definitely one that would have people guessing. I just needed my blazer. That would solve all these problems. I couldn't find it though. I untucked my shirt and went to find Lorelai.

"Lorelai, do you know where my Chilton blazer is?"

"Yeah, you asked me to get it dry cleaned for you. I'm supposed to pick it up today."

My heart sank.

"I've got to go."

"Are you okay?"

"I've got to go. I need my blazer"

"We still need to have breakfast and the dry cleaners won't even be open yet."

"Then I really can't do breakfast today," I said a bit more icily than I had intended.

"Kat, we've talked about this. You have to eat even when you feel like you don't want to. The doctor said it's even more important now to keep nutrients consistent."

I walked away. Lorelai followed.

"Stop walking and talk to me. What is going on?"

**LORELAI**

She didn't stop. She grabbed her sweater vest from her bed, her book bag, and her purse. I tried to get her to stay. Asked her to stay and talk. She wouldn't. She didn't say a word. She was gone. She didn't even stop when I yelled at her to bring her coat. I sounded like such a mother when I yelled it, but god knows it was cold out there. It's November in Connecticut.

I thought about going to the diner and talking to Luke about the whole thing. It seemed so odd to me. Why she was so upset about a blazer being at the dry cleaners? I didn't get.

I headed to the inn instead, knowing I could get Sookie to make me some breakfast. My little seedling was hungry and I needed my best friend.

"How's it going mommy?"

"Sookie, I am already a mom."

"But you're going to be a mommy all over again."

"Sookie," I said not at all in the mood.

"What's wrong honey?"

"Kat."

"What happened? Where is she anyway? You guys usually have breakfast here or at Luke's and judging by the time you're eating here. Unless, you got up early..."

"Sookie. How long have you known me? Do you really think I would have gotten up earlier than I had to?"

"No. So where is she?"

"She ran out of the house this morning."

"You guys always get breakfast together though... or has her doctor said she can start doing it unsupervised? If so that's great."

"No, her doctor definitely has not said that. We were supposed to eat together. She got upset that her blazer was still at the dry cleaners and left."

"Is it a special blazer or something?"

"No."

"So it wasn't once owned by Hilary Clinton or Michelle Obama? It doesn't have special powers either?"

"No. Just her Chilton blazer."

"Then why was she upset?"

It felt good that Sookie was just as confused as I was

"I have no idea. I do know I want breakfast though."

"Pumpkin pancakes?"

"Do you have any of that apple streusel pie left from yesterday?"

"Yes. You want that instead of pancakes?"

"With my pancakes."

"I should have known."

"And can I have some coffee?"

"Sweetie. You know Luke told me not to give you any."

"After this morning I need some. If you had seen her... I'm worried. Something is going on."

"I'll give you half regular, half decaf."

"Deal."

**KAT**

I stopped to get coffee when I was in Hartford. I knew Luke wouldn't be amused, but this morning had not treated me well. The coffee made my seedling (it's funny how Lorelai and I both called them that) move around. I regretted the coffee immediately. The fact that my skirt wouldn't close up had made the whole thing real enough that morning.

I decided I needed to go with the confident approach when I entered. If I acted like it was okay for my shirt to be untucked, maybe no one would notice. Besides it barely peeked out from under the slightly loose sweater vest. It worked in the hallways. My friends (now just school friends) did not even mention it. It also worked for first period. However, I'd always questioned Mrs. Maxfield's eyesight. She probably had not even seen it.

However, moments after I walked into Mr. Medina's classroom, I head something I was hoping I wouldn't.

"Ms. Banks can I see you in the hallway? Everyone else please get yourself well acquainted with Chapter 12 if you have failed to do so already"

I got out of my seat and walked to the hallway.

"Now Ms. Banks I know you know the dress code, so I'm going to need you to tuck in your shirt before you come back into my classroom."

"Ummm..."

"Yes, Ms. Banks."

"I can't."

"If you choose to believe you are unable to do that, then you are unable to come back into my classroom."

"Please, Mr. Medina."

"It's simple Ms. Banks, tuck in your shirt and you can come back in."

"You don't understand. I really can't tuck it in."

I lifted up my untucked shirt just enough for him to see the elastic hair tie holding my skirt in place and tucked my shirt in, placed my hand on my stomach, and told him without having to say the words.

"Is that from the incident at the beginning of the year?"  
"Yes."

"You can untuck your shirt again."

He must have seen me shifting uncomfortably.

"Thanks. Can we please go back in?"

"We will. Let's go someplace first. Let's go for a walk."

"Okay."

He walked me down to the school nurse's office. He had me wait outside while he talked to her. When he emerged he had a spare blazer. It was a bit big on me, but it worked. After I slipped into it, we walked back to his classroom. However, after maybe 20 minutes I got called down to Headmaster Charleston's office.

"Do you know what brings you to my office Ms. Banks?"  
"No"

"Really? I find that peculiar due to how I have heard you spent your morning."

"I've been to every class."

"Not in proper dress though. The school nurse tells me that you're pregnant and you had to be loaned a blazer to cover up your current state."

"I have a blazer, but it's at the dry cleaners."

"Do you not deny that you're pregnant then?"

"No."

"No you don't deny it, or no you're not pregnant?"  
"I don't deny it"

"Well, then I will need you to wait outside while I call your parents to come get you and help you gather your belongings."  
"Come and get me?"

"Pregnancy Ms. Banks is grounds for expulsion."


	15. Emily Angry

**A long chapter... but it sort of had to be.**

**As always, I own nothing of Gilmore Girls. Just the character Katalina. Any reviews are appreciated. **

**EMILY**

I was drinking my coffee while reading the paper in the living room when my new maid brought me the phone.

"This is Mrs. Gilmore"

"I'm so sorry to be calling you Emily... I know you get your hair done on Mondays."  
"Katalina, is that you?"  
"Yes."  
"What's wrong? You sound like you're crying. And I told you, you can call me Grandma"  
"They're expelling me. They're calling Lorelai, but I don't know. I thought you might be able to help. Or at least get here sooner than Lorelai can."

Did she say they were expelling her?

"They're expelling you?"  
"They found out about the pregnancy."

My heart stopped.

"I'll be right there."

I had been worried about this. However, I know Hanlin and I knew there had to be some misunderstanding. I had no doubt I could straighten this out and if I couldn't I would just call Richard. We could get this sorted out.

**LORELAI**

I tried to call Kat after I got the call from Chilton telling me I needed to come in. They didn't say over the phone what was going on, just that it was urgent and either Luke or I needed to come in. I didn't know if Kat had brought her bad mood into school with her or if there was something else going on.

Kat wouldn't answer her phone though. It rang and she put it straight to voicemail. She clearly wasn't ready to talk and I was slightly annoyed.

She was sitting in the waiting room of Headmaster Charleston's office when I got there. She clearly had been crying.

"What's going on?" I asked her

The secretary interrupted before Kat could respond.

"Ms. Gilmore"

"Mrs. Gilmore-Danes," I said out of habit.

"Mrs. Gilmore-Danes, you can go into Headmaster Charleston's office. He's waiting for you."

When I opened the door I saw my mother sitting in there. It would have been déjà vu of Rory's first day at Chilton had my mother not looked so angry.

"Ms. Gilmore we meet again." Headmaster Charleston said.  
"It's Mrs. Gilmore-Danes."

"Well, Mrs. Gilmore-Danes, we meet again. I am sorry that it looks like this will be the last time we meet as I regret to inform you that Katalina is being expelled."  
"Excuse me?"  
"We have a zero tolerance policy for pregnancy in this school."

"I'm still not understanding."  
"Well, Katalina decided to show up today with her shirt untucked. Her instructor Mr. Medina –"

Max?

" – told her she had to comply with dress code and she told him she was unable. Indicating her pregnancy. He then had to take time from the classroom to go get a blazer from the school nurse to cover that fact."

"That's why she wanted her blazer this morning," I said softly. Not loud enough for anyone to really hear me.

"The school nurse then informed me of the situation. While the blazer might have been able to conceal it, you must understand my predicament."  
"Your predicament?" My mother said, taking the words out of my mouth, "This is not your predicament Hanlin."  
"Emily, I am sure you appreciate the importance of reputation. Chilton prides itself on developing outstanding members of society. Pupils who are concerned with their studies and their futures. Having a pregnant student is a contradiction to that and a distraction. She will need to gather her items and leave."  
"Hanlin. You are going to disparage that girl."  
"She is disparaging this institution."  
"She was raped Hanlin!"  
"So I am told."

"So you are told?" my mother continued, "If that is any implication that you do not believe her then we would be more than happy to provide the police and hospital records that demonstrate otherwise."

"That is not necessary Emily. It would not matter anyway, hospital records would not show that this pregnancy is a direct result of those unfortunate events. We also cannot create a precedent where a girl can claim rape if they find themselves pregnant. My decision stands."

"Claim rape? I would choose your words very carefully."

I sat there in shock.

"Now if you will please leave my office I have a school to run. Please see to it that you gather all of her belongings before leaving the grounds."

"We are not through with this Hanlin. You will be hearing from our lawyers."

My mother got up and left. I followed her out.

"I'm going to call Richard," my mother said before walking outside. Leaving me standing there with Kat.

"I'm sorry," Kat said.

"You need to quit apologizing kid. Let's go get your stuff."

We walked to her locker and I held her bookbag as she started putting her stuff in it.

"Lorelai?" I turned and saw Max. He looked startled.  
"Max."

"What are you doing?"  
"As if you don't know," I didn't have the time or patience for this.

"I'm sorry, but I don't?"  
"Kat is my husband's daughter and thanks to you she's been expelled."  
"You were expelled?" he asked Kat

"Pregnancy is grounds for expulsion." Kat said robotically.  
"But the circumstances surrounding it?"

"Interested Headmaster Charleston as much as sports interest me," I said with anger in my voice.

"Please tell me you are going to fight this," Max said.

"Lawyers were mentioned."  
"I'm glad to hear that."

As Kat put the last of her stuff in her bag, I zipped it up, and sat the book bag on the ground. Max's eyes went to my stomach. I put my left hand there self-consciously.

"So you're married."  
"and pregnant."

"Let me know if you need anything. Katalina is a brilliant student."  
"We will."

**LUKE**

There's angry and then there's what I am. It feels like a ball of fury is inside my body. How dare they! Doing that to MY daughter.

My anger carried all the way until Lorelai and I were getting ready to go to bed.

"My parents want us to go over there to discuss what we're going to do."

"I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to fight this."

"And my parents want to help us do that."  
"How the hell could they do this?"  
"I don't know. I assure you I was shocked sitting in that room."  
"And why did they call you instead of me? I would have given them a piece of my mind."  
"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. I assure you my mother was not pleasant. Her anger and disappointment directed at someone who actually deserved it."  
"I didn't mean it like that Lorelai. I just meant I wish we both could have been there. I would have loved to have a few words with that hoity toity glorified principal who thinks that my kid is going to make him look bad."

"Our kid," she said getting up.

"Lorelai."

"It's okay. I'm just going to go get something to eat. Your baby is hungry and wants a bedtime snack."

"Let me come fix it for you."  
"I'm good Luke. Let me go. I need to think."

**LORELAI**

It wasn't just Luke going through this. It was obviously Kat as well... and me. I needed some time alone. I heated up some cider in the kitchen and went out onto the porch, mug in hand. I was so thankful that Luke had convinced me to allow him to install heat lamps into the ceiling of the porch. It was still a bit crisp out there, but like being outside in a coat in the fall weather – without having to wear the coat. When I got out there, I noticed Kat was already there, curled up in a blanket on the swing.

"Mind if I sit down?"  
"Nope and I'll share my blanket if you share your cider."

"Deal. How are you?"

"Numb."

"We're going to fight for you. You deserve that."

"I just feel like I'm becoming this huge strain."

"You are not the problem."

"It's so crazy how one night can change so much. One night and there are going to be two new lives coming into the world. One night and someone went to jail. One night and it doesn't look like I'll be graduating from Chilton... One night and I might not even be going to college."

"Don't say that."

"It's true though."

"Paths are not formed in the future. They're formed in the present."  
"I'm not so sure."  
"It's true. If paths were formed in the future I wouldn't have had a kid at 16. My daughter would have went to Harvard not Yale. I wouldn't be married to Luke."  
"I wouldn't be sitting here with you right now."  
"Exactly."

"Pregnancy scares me."

"Why? Is it the weight gain?"  
"Not exactly. I know everyone assumes I have major body image issues. I really don't though. I may not be thrilled with my body, but a lot of that stems from that night. Really though? It's that I don't think I'm worth the food. So pregnancy scares me, because it makes it okay to justify a certain amount of food. This baby is worth that food. But I'm not. It's some weird contradiction."

"Is that why you were willing to match me bite for bite that day?"  
"Because I could tell myself that it was calories for the baby and the baby was worth those calories. I couldn't finish though, because I knew the baby didn't need all of those calories. So some of those were for me... and I wasn't...I'm not worth them."  
"You're worth those calories even without being pregnant... but even with your logic – which is Looney Tunes - you have to stay alive to keep that baby alive."

"What you're saying sounds logical... but it's hard to accept that. I just keep having to tell myself that it's weight gain with a purpose. Today just made it even more difficult."  
"Is that why you wouldn't eat dinner?"

"Today showed me that even having someone worth something inside of me, I still wasn't worth anything. I'm not worth keeping around. So it felt like I wasn't worth dinner. Would I still make that choice now that I've had time to sip some cider and reassess? Maybe... Maybe not."

"Maybe not?"

"I hate to say this. But I am a little bit hungry. Which makes me think the baby wants nutrients. Part of my brain is telling me that it's crazy to think that. You don't even need extra calories at this point in a pregnancy, but I don't usually feel hunger."

"Well, I am hungry."

"Can we have the same deal as last time?"  
"Yes, Louise."  
"Can we eat it out here?"  
"Of course."


	16. Blair's Headband

_**The shortest of chapters... Took a job and have to move in less than two weeks with only two days off between now and then... wish me luck.**_

**LORELAI**

We weren't able to get Kat enrolled at Stars Hollow High until after Thanksgiving... due to the school's fall break. It's going to be temporary. Until she can go back to Chilton. Or so we're telling ourselves. They aren't anywhere near as nice about Kat's need to have supervised lunches as Chilton. They won't sit with her. So she's been on her own to eat it.

"Kat, are you ready? We've got to go. Your appointment is in an hour and with traffic..." Luke yelled, "Kat. I'm serious. We've got to go now!"  
"Kat?" I half asked, half stated as I headed towards her room.

I let myself in.

"So... what's up?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Are you avoiding..."  
"My appointment? No. Avoiding picking out clothing, however? Yes."

"Ah! The great closet dilemma. I can solve that for you. Let me pick. I'm great at picking out clothing."

"I seem to remember you needing my expertise a time or two"

"for others. You didn't let me finish! Watch and learn grasshopper."

I ran my hand over the hangers in her closet, stopping at one that caught my eye. I grabbed it from her closet, went to her dresser and pulled out some patterned tights.

"There."

"The Balenciaga dress from Gossip Girl?"

Hold up.

"This was on Gossip Girl?"

"As worn by Blair. Oh to have her closet... It took ages to track that dress down"

I mean... I love my TV characters and all, but Blair Waldorf wasn't exactly on the top of my list...

"Well... regardless"

"Regardless? Blair is perfection."

"Regardless, it's perfect for tonight. Formal enough for Friday night dinner after your appointment, it's deeper colors, so great for this weather. Will look amazing against the snow."

"Are we having pictures taken?"  
"No. But... snow! And we both know you have a patterned tight collection that rivals my daughter's book collection. So clearly you love wearing them and mixing patterns"

It was true. She even had them organized in the drawer like Rory used to organize her books. Standing straight up. How she had time to put her tights over these little sleeves so she could see the pattern I didn't understand. But she did it. Somehow she'd even gotten her teachers at Chilton to ignore her incorporating them into her uniform. Maybe it is her version of Blair's headband... I still don't get it. I don't really do the tights or pantyhose thing and when I do they're pretty much a one-time use sort of thing. I always snag them on something.

"It'll fit at least. This is the first time your parents will have seen me like this."

"What do you mean? My mother has seen you pregnant. Multiple times."  
"Not since my stomach popped even more, literally overnight."

"We've both got that going for us. Now get dressed, we've got to go before I kill Luke for continuing to yell at us that we're going to be late," I said yelling the last part for Luke's benefit.

"Fine" she said as she started to undress.

I can't lie. I was shocked as she took off her top. Her ribs poking out despite an evident bump forming. Her bump nowhere near the size of mine. Yes, we are both only 18 weeks, but I found it unsettling. Ribs and a baby bump don't seem healthy.

"Same parts," Kat said snapping me back into the room.

"What?" I asked.

"You look shocked that I started to undress... that I would do that in front of you. We have the same parts."

"Yeah," I said willing to let her think that's what was going on.


	17. Congratulations Grandpa

**So work has been kicking my butt. Got a job at an eating disorder clinic and it's long hours at varying times. Love it, but it's exhausting sometimes. Anyway, I have some ideas for this story. Rory and Paris are going to be coming into it... The latter especially. Won't go into that too much though.**

**LORELAI**

I left her room and headed downstairs where Luke was pacing.

"we're going to be late. And if we're late to the doctor, we'll be late to your mother's. We both know that won't go well," he paused, "What's wrong."  
"She needs to eat."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"We need to make sure she's eating."  
"We do."  
"I mean every single meal."  
"What happened Lorelai?"

I couldn't answer though, I heard Katalina's heels coming into the room.

"Ready to go?" I asked  
"Yep," she answered.

**KAT**

With school I have this focus. This level of attention to detail that's probably enough to get me slapped with another diagnosis. I don't study, because I just pay attention. I pay attention and make sure every paper is well thought out and researched. I pay attention and make sure my homework is not only on time, but early. I get my stuff done. So I don't stress.

However, at doctor's appointments? My attention span isn't quite so expansive. I find after awhile my doctor's voice trails off and I can't quite focus on her words. She could be telling me I'm pregnant with a puppy or twins and I wouldn't register it. Like right now. She's telling me something, but my mind is elsewhere. Ironically enough, thinking about paying attention.

"Katalina... Katalina... Katalina!"

"What?"

"Are you feeling alright?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little spaced out."

"How have your meals been?"  
"Well... I don't really know."  
"How do you think they've been?"

How do you answer that? They haven't been the best. I want them to have been perfect. But they haven't. Especially not lunches at school. How do I say that? Without sounding like I'm not trying. That I don't care.

"Katalina?"  
"They could be better?"

"Based on the measurements we talked about and the heart rate – "

Here it was happening again. I didn't remember what she was talking about.

"I'm sorry, I must have missed something. What's wrong?"  
"I think the malnutrition is impacting your ability to focus and listen right now."  
"Dr. A, I don't think that's what's happening. I think I'm just... spaced out. Tired. Preoccupied. I don't know."  
"This is really important though Katalina. Really important."  
"Fine. We can bring Lorelai in if you want."  
"I think that's a good idea."

She went out into the hall and came back with Lorelai in tow.

"So, what's up?"  
"Katalina said I could bring you in here, because I think it's important that you are aware of what's going on."

Lorelai's eyes furrowed with questions.

"Okay... what do you mean what's going on?"  
"Her weight is down. Her little baby girl is measuring small, though I will admit, not too far off. However, that means Katalina's health is declining. Also baby's heart rate is weak and Katalina's blood pressure is also low."  
"Do we know why?"  
"That's what we've been trying to figure out. She says meals could be better. But that's all I could get out of her."

"She had to switch schools and the new school isn't quite as accommodating at lunch time. She's been on her own there as they don't have the staff to have someone sit with her. I was worried that would cause problems."  
"Maybe I can write the school a note. Something has to change or else her body will continue weakening."  
"A note would be great. Don't worry, we'll work something out."  
"I'd also like you to come back in a couple of weeks. Okay?"  
"We'll be here."

**LUKE **

Lorelai came out of the exam room with an odd expression on her face. Sort of sad, but more serious.

"What's wrong?"  
"We've got to make sure she eats."  
"You said that earlier. What's wrong?"  
"She's not eating at school."  
"What do you mean?"  
"She's not. Not enough. Her doctor said she'll writer a note for the school. Maybe then they'll watch her eat."

Lorelai was making me nervous.

"What happened in there?"

"Kat and the baby aren't in great health."

My heart stopped for a few seconds.

"What?"  
"They're not."  
"She's going to eat."

This was the line in the sand.

"It's a girl by the way. Congratulations grandpa."

I felt my face soften. Lorelai, who was now sitting, burrow her head into my shoulder. She grabbed my hand. And we waited for Kat to come out.


	18. Grilled Cheese

**KATALINA**

So we headed over to Lorelai's parents after the appointment was over. For the first time ever Richard wasn't in his office when we arrived, but was in the doorway.

"Katalina! You're here. Let's go into my office. There's something I want to discuss with you." He said while walking away

Lorelai and I exchanged confused and curious glances, but I followed.

"So, I heard a rumor that you were top of your class at Chilton. Is that true young lady?"  
"Honestly? I don't know. I don't really keep track of that sort of thing."  
"And why not? You should be proud. Well, since letters from our lawyers don't seem to be doing any good I have been trying to think of alternative ways to get you back into that school. I can't let a granddaughter of mine be treated this way. Let her lose the chance to graduate as valedictorian at Chilton? Absolutely not. You have earned it and truthfully it would truly be something to be able to say that I have had two granddaughters have that honor."  
"They're not letting me back in. As long as this is showing, I have no chance," I said placing my hand on my slight bump.

"Well, Rory and I think we might have an idea. Isn't that right Rory?"

I hadn't noticed until he gestured, but his laptop was turned around and Rory's face was on the screen.

"It might be an uncomfortable idea, but I think it will work grandpa."

"What's the idea?" I asked nervously.

At that moment, I could hear a voice in the background.

"Rory! Who are you still talking to? You said you were going to show me New York tonight. You can't show me New York while talking to whoever it is you're talking to. Who are you talking to?"

and with that another face peeked into the screen.

"Paris. Why hello! I didn't realize you were with Rory."  
"I came here for winter break. Rory told me she'd show me her office at the Times and New York."  
"Well, I promise Katalina and I won't keep her too long."  
"Katalina?"

I moved towards the camera and smiled

"Hello!"

Paris just stared and then disappeared. However, her face kept popping back into the picture every once in awhile. Staring into the camera. Not saying anything.

"Well, anyway, as I was saying, I think we should go public. Private school valedictorian kicked out of school due to a pregnancy that resulted from a violent rape? That's something of a headline. I know I could find someone around the office that would be interested in publishing it. It's not in my wheelhouse, but some of our human interest writers?"  
"And Chilton will have no choice but to let you back in or else continue facing bad press and a tarnished reputation. With the amount they charge for tuition, they really cannot afford to have a tarnished reputation."  
"I know it's extreme... and I imagine the idea of having your story out there is not that appealing. I still wanted to offer up the idea, because I think it would work," Rory said.

"Of course it would work Rory! It's a brilliant idea. What do you think Katalina?"

I paused before answering. I was deliberating in my head. If I could handle that. Having the world know the grim details of my life.

"If you think it would work. Let's do it," I found myself saying.

"Brilliant," Richard stated.

"Alright. I will send a couple of emails out and see if I get any response. I have no doubt someone will want to pick it up. But anyway, I need to go. I'm going out to dinner tonight with Paris."

Rory stood up. Before she turned off the connection I could hear Paris asking her who I was.

**LORELAI**

I was very confused what my father wanted to talk to Katalina about. Enough that he was waiting for her before we'd even arrived. I swear the wax on the floor was dull from his pacing, waiting for us to arrive. I hadn't quite decided if her presence would help the situation in the living room or not. My mother was making it very clear she preferred Katalina's style to my own.

"I just don't understand why you don't go shopping with Katalina. She has such wonderful taste."

"Mom, I'm pregnant."

"Lorelai, do I need to remind you that Katalina is also pregnant. In fact, you are both due in very close proximity to each other."

With that Katalina appeared with my father.

"Thank god."  
"Lorelai is my conversation with you really that terribly that you need to thank God for a reason for it to be over?"  
"Just thanking God, because that means dinner must be soon. I'm hungry."

"Your father has not even had a drink yet."

The maid entered. Surprise, surprise. It wasn't Flora.

"Mrs. Gilmore, dinner is ready."  
"Dinner cannot be ready. Mr. Gilmore has not had a drink yet."  
"M'am, you said you wanted dinner to be ready at 7:30pm"

"And what time is it Madeline?"  
"It's 7:30PM"

My mother looked at her watch.

"Oh I guess it is. In the future though Madeline, please make sure we've all had our drinks before dinner is ready. Dinner begins promptly _after_ drinks."

I couldn't help but look at the poor maid and give her an apologetic look. I was hoping she'd realize it wasn't her and that my mother was crazy.

"Who knew we'd finally hire a maid who understood how to read a watch?" my mother muttered, "I guess bring your drink into the dining room Richard."

There truly was no winning with my mother.

So we went in, my father drink in hand – looking perplexed. I sat next to Luke as usual, with Kat across from us. After the salad, the entrée came out. It looked unusually like grilled cheese.

"Is this grilled cheese mom?"  
"Yes, it is. Two types."  
"Grilled cheese?"

"I just told you it was Lorelai, is there something wrong with that?"  
"No, I like grilled cheese, but I don't think I've ever seen you eat it," I said emphasizing the you. Luke kicking my foot under the table.  
"That's absurd."  
"Really? Name one time you've had grilled cheese prior to this."  
"Lorelai, I don't think recalling the last time I ate grilled cheese falls under the duties I have as your mother."  
"See," I said, poking Luke.

"Lorelai, if you must continue. I remembered being told how much Katalina like truffled grilled cheese and grilled cheese with macaroni and cheese inside. Once I found out it's perfectly safe for you both to have truffle oil, I thought it would be wonderful to have tonight."  
"Who told you this?"  
"That's not important Lorelai."

"Is it a matter of national security/'

"Lorelai. If your mother doesn't find it pertinent enough to disclose that to you, respect that," my father stated very firmly.

"Eat your grilled cheese since you like it," Luke said, a glimmer of a joking in his voice.

"Really?" I questioned glaring at Luke.

I wanted to kick him as I did not find his joking amusing, but I caught a glimpse of Kat across the table staring blankly at her plate.

I turned back to Luke

"to be continued"

and with that I stood up, grabbed my plate, walked around the table, and sat down next to Kat.


	19. Emily Softened

**LORELAI**

"Lorelai, do you think dinner is an opportunity to play musical chairs?"

Surprise surprise my mother wasn't thrilled by my move to the other side of the table.

"Lorelai. I am talking to you."

"No mom, I don't. But I just wanted to sit over here for a change"

"Next time you decide you want a change, do it before the meal begins."

"Okay mother"

My father and Luke began to talk about the diner and Taylor's ice cream shop. I focused my attention to Kat. Talking softly.

"You can do this Kat. Remember what the doctor said today."

"I know," she said. closing her eyes she picked up one sandwich half tentatively.

I picked up half of mine as well and took a bite and nodded towards her, to show it was okay.

"This is really good." I said louder out of genuine surprise. My hand went instinctively to my stomach as I said it.

"See Lorelai, now are you still shocked I would have eaten this?" My mother asked.

I was about to answer, but Kat brought the sandwich up to her mouth and tears started streaming down her cheeks silently.

"What's going on?"

No response. I rubbed her back.

"Kat. Remember. We're in this together. What's going on?"

"Nothing"

"Something is clearly going on doll. You can tell me. I promise"

"I just..."

"You just what?"

"I just can't. It's too hard."

"What makes this so hard?"

"This is what I ate at my father's Christmas parties every year," she said as she started to cry again.

The second she said that I realized where my mother had heard Kat loved this meal. I was mad.

"Luke, can you come sit over here. I need to... I need some air"

Luke gave me a concerned look, but got up.

Once he came over, I set my napkin down, and got up. I went by my mother on my way out and whispered, "you are unbelievable," in her ear.

**EMILY**

When Lorelai left I knew immediately where she was headed. To wash the dishes. For whatever reason, whenever we had a fight that didn't resolve in her leaving entirely, just the table, she wound up in the kitchen elbow deep in suds.

Sure enough, that's where I found her after Richard prodded me to go after our daughter.

"Do you mind?" I said nodding towards the dishes.

"Lorelai. Seriously"

Lorelai didn't turn around.

"Seriously? You're directing that at me?" she answered.

I could hear her start to scrub even harder. I wanted to tell her to be more delicate with that china. That it was expensive, but I held my tongue.

"Yes, Lorelai I am. I go through the trouble of making something special for Katalina and you make a spectacle. First by getting up and changing seats and then by getting up and leaving"

She finally decided to turn around. Sure enough, her hands were covered in suds.

"You had your cook make something that reminds her of her family"

"We are her family"

"You know exactly what I am talking about. You wouldn't tell me how you knew she liked grilled cheese, let alone that specific way... But we both know how. And from who."

"Honestly Lorelai. I didn't want to mention it at the table because it didn't matter.

"You knew about it from her father. So it does matter. Clearly it matters. Did you not see her?"

"Her father is Luke"

"Yes, but you know who I am talking about."

"Dirk has been a friend of ours for years. Not that crazy wife of his, but even Katalina knows we know each other. I told her that the first time we met. And it just so happens I learned that by being around that family for their many parties. I didn't go and ask him, 'Gee Dirk, what can I serve your daughter that she'll really like that will irritate my daughter'"

"Mom. You don't get it."

"And just what do I not get Lorelai. Please enlighten me."

"Her past family life was traumatic."

I tried to interject that it was not Dirk, but his wife that was insufferable and probably the inducer of the trauma. Lorelai, just raised her voice further.

"You are not listening to what I am saying. She has an eating disorder."

I tried to interject again.

"I understand that. That's why I thought having something she has historically liked eating would help"

"It doesn't help when it makes her too emotional to eat it. Your intentions might have been okay, but what happened in there? That's not okay. Meals need to be calm. It's not good for either of us - her or myself - to be stressed out right now."

"Really Lorelai, dinner did not have to be stressful. You made it that way."

"Food makes it stressful for her. Certain things make it even worse. Tonight was unnecessarily stressful. The memories associated with that food made it that way. You really don't get it. She is having health issues mom. Serious health issues. Life threatening health issues"

I felt my face soften. The way the words came out of her mouth. She'd been hiding this. It was serious.

"What are you talking about?"

"We went to the doctor before we got here tonight" She paused. Which made my concern grow larger.

"Is the baby alright?" I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer, if I could handle if the answer was no.

"Kat and the baby aren't doing well. Her weight isn't good. The baby is taking nutrients away from her"

"A lot of women lose weight in the beginning of their pregnancy," I tried to justify this information.

"The baby isn't measuring properly mom... And I saw her. I saw her getting dressed. The doctor is right. If things don't change quickly... If she doesn't start eating every meal... I don't know."

"Lorelai." I inhaled sharply. Unintentional, but this realization was hitting me.

"Luke wanted her to have an abortion. We were warned this pregnancy might kill her. I said to let her make her own choice. I might have killed her. Do you understand that? Nights like tonight can't keep happening"

Lorelai looked so fragile telling me this. Like a little girl who needed her mother to tell her everything would be alright. Even though it felt awkward, I leaned in to hug her. She started crying, so I rubbed her back. It took awhile for words to come.

"She'll come and live with us."

She withdrew from my embrace.

"What?"

"It makes perfect sense. We can hire someone to home school her here. Your father and I can monitor her meals. What we can't the maid can."

"Mom"

"At least talk about it with Luke. I am sure he will think it's a good idea. You two can come over and we can work out the details with your father"

"I don't know"

"Talk to Luke. Now let's go back to the table. Please don't change seats again though."

I didn't want to give her time to say no entirely. I turned around and headed back into the dining room.


	20. Like Rory all over again

**LORELAI**

When we went back to the dining room my father and Kat were talking about Economics. She was eating too. Slowly and tentatively, but she was eating.

I was shocked.

After dinner, we went home. Kat went to bed fairly quickly after we got there. Luke and I got into bed and I decided to tell him about the conversation with my mother.

"You've been quiet since dinner."  
"Yeah... my mother and I had a talk."  
"Oh. Were you Gilmored in the kitchen?"  
"How did you know I was in the kitchen?"  
"You had a couple of suds on your dress when you came back into the dining room"  
"I was covered in suds and you didn't tell me?"

"it didn't seem like the time."  
"So if I were wearing red while standing by a bull, would you just not tell me because it wasn't the time?"

"In what circumstance would you ever be near bulls? And anyway what did you and your mother talk about?"

I sat up straight.

"What?"

I turned to stare at Luke. I put my hand on his chest.

"She wants Kat."  
"What?"  
"I told her. I was mad and I told her."  
"Told her what?"  
"I told her Kat's sick. I told her the baby's in danger. I told her it's my fault." I said speaking quickly, my voice lowering into a whisper by the end.  
"What?"  
"If anything happens to that girl Luke, it'll be my fault." I said raising my voice. I was getting worked up.  
"Lorelai..." he said softly.

He pulled me around and wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"Nothing about this is your fault."

"My mother thinks Kat should live with her. She thinks she would do better living there. My mother wants to hire a tutor to home school her. She said she'll eat with her and hire someone else to when she can't. Because money can fix this apparently."

"Well Stars Hollow High definitely isn't challenging her or helping her right now."

"You agree?"  
"I think we should think about it Lorelai. It's not like your parents live hundreds of miles away."  
"Luke. I almost lost Rory when she lived with them. I can't go through that again. I can't go through that with Kat. I couldn't handle it."  
"That wouldn't happen Lorelai."

He rubbed his arms against my body. Crossing in front of my chest. Right hand on my left shoulder. Left hand on my right shoulder. He moved them down towards my bump, which is protruding more these days.

"You. Kat. This baby. Rory. You are my family. Your parents are not going to take my family away from me. "

Despite being single and independent for years and years it felt good to feel so safe and protected.

"I sometimes forget I don't have to juggle it all. That I don't have to pick up all the slack or all the pieces and put them back together. Do you remember when I broke down that night I was going to ask you for a check?"  
"For The Dragonfly. You were crying on a bench."  
"You do remember. You're doing exactly what I wished I had someone to do that night"

"I am glad to be the person to do those things. We're going to get through this. We're going to get Kat through this. I would hate to not see her all the time, because I'm still getting to know her and she's my kid, but I think we should think about this."  
"Okay."  
"Let's give it until the next appointment and see what happens. Sound good?"  
"Okay."

It did sound reasonable, but I still had doubts and fears. I was hoping things would turn around.

**KAT**

I couldn't sleep. Dinner had made my stomach pop out. You couldn't really tell when I was laying down, it would disappear, but when I was standing? You could. Especially if you knew what you were looking for. I felt like I couldn't be in my skin. I needed to go do something. I didn't want to go run or do anything that would possibly harm the baby though, so I got in my car. I was already heading to Hartford when I remembered he was at his apartment in Philadelphia for a week. He had been sending me letters. Letters I had chosen not to answer. Last time I had seen or talk to him was when Lorelai told the town she was pregnant and even then we hadn't talked about his letters. The letter writer being Jess, of course. So I drove to Philly. I was so tired when I got there. It was nearly four in the morning. I must have been speeding part of the way as it took me thirty minutes less than it had the last time I had driven there. I had to pull one of the letters out of my purse to check his address.

While he was living above in a company property (above the shop) when he was in Hartford, he had moved out in Philadelphia. He was making enough money he had his own place. Probably a good thing since it was so early in the morning. I walked up to his building's buzzer. He was groggy sounding. He immediately let me up.

"What are you doing here? It's not even four in the morning. You must have been driving all night."  
"We need to talk," I said taking the letters out of my purse and placing them on the kitchen island.

He shifted uncomfortably.

"You've got to be tired, we can talk after you get some sleep. "

"Jess. We really need to talk."

"You can have my bed. I can change the sheets. I'll sleep on the couch," he continued acting as though I hadn't said anything.  
"I can sleep on the couch Jess."  
"I really wouldn't advise that. A lot of things have happened on that couch and have been spilled on it. Take the bed. Do you want something to drink while I go change the sheets?"  
"You don't need to change the sheets. It's fine. We're cousins. But please can we talk? I need to tell you something."

His face flinched as I said that. We'd dated so that cousin realization was a bit jarring, despite our never having any kind of physical relationship. I had hit a not-so old wound.

"Fine," he said walking into the living room.


	21. Words We Can't Say

**JESS**

I had sent her letters. Every single week since it had happened... Since I had asked Joe to take her home. Since what happened in his truck. Since we found out she was Luke's kid. Since the whole damn world fell apart. I hadn't tried calling, because I didn't think I could deal with that. This was exactly why I don't like to get close to people. Written word I'm good with. Not face to face. Not spoken. I'm a one or two syllable kind of guy. So agreeing to talk was hard.

I sat on the questionable couch and Kat followed suit. In the lighting of the living room, I noticed how drawn her face looked. She'd lost weight. I became even more upset with myself.

"So," I said flatly.

"I need you to know something."

"What?" the word came across sounding more like a dick and less flat.

"Jess. I've read your letters. Well, some of them. I couldn't read anymore of them let alone respond. You apologized at first. Over and over. And then neglected to reference what happened at all. I don't blame you. I don't blame you for having Joe drive me home. I don't blame you for leaving. God knows I wish we could forget what happened that night"

"no joke."

"We won't be able to though."

"I don't know about that."

"Jess. We won't be able to." She placed her hand on her stomach as she said that. I noticed it was sticking out a lot more than it used to. It wasn't really protruding, but when you're used to someone's stomach being nonexistent, you really notice when it no longer is. It took me a few seconds but I realized what she was trying to tell me.

"Is that from?" I hadn't meant it to come out like that, implying it could be from anything other than that night, "Shit. I mean... are you?"

"Yeah. 18 weeks."

"Fuck Kat," I said with more desperation than anger.

"I know. I wanted to let you know in person."  
"If Joe weren't in jail, I'd kill him."

"I'll tell you what I told Luke when he said that... then you'd be in jail."  
"Meh. I'd write a book and become a bestseller." Half joking, half being serious.  
"You wrote a book that should have been a bestseller. I prefer you on this side of bars."

"What are you going to do?"  
"I don't know. I just knew I couldn't keep ignoring you. Let's not talk about this anymore though. I'd rather take you up on your offer of sleep."

And with that she headed into my bedroom. Not even waiting for any response from me.

I called Luke after she left.

"Luke here."

"It's jess. Thought I'd call you to let you know Kat's here."  
"She's what?"  
"She got here maybe 20 minutes ago."

I could hear Lorelai in the background. She sounded groggy. Asking Luke who in the world would be calling at that hour.

"It's Jess, Lorelai. Kat's over there... Wait Jess, she drove to Hartford this morning?"

"Philly."  
"She drove to Philadelphia? That's almost four hours away!"  
"Yeah."  
"Is she okay?"  
"Well, she's pregnant which you neglected to tell me."  
"Jess. That's her business. Not mine. I'm going to come to get her."  
"Luke. She drove here. You can't come get her."  
"Like hell I can't."  
"She's fine Luke. She's sleeping right now. "

"Okay, but you tell her to call me the second she wakes up."

"That's her business, not mine," I said using Luke's logic against him.

"Jess Mariano, you will have her call me the second she wakes up."  
"Sure Uncle Luke."

"I'm serious Jess"  
"Okay. Point taken."

"Good."  
"Good.

"and food Luke," I heard Lorelai say in the background.

"and make sure she eats," Luke parroted.  
"Okay."  
"Okay then."

We hung up.

I was left to sit at the kitchen island staring at the letters littered across the counter. Visions of her placing her hand on her stomach haunting me.

**LORELAI**

I don't function well in the mornings. Many alarm clock slaughters are testaments to that. One time Luke actually had put dozens of alarm clocks in the bedroom, just like my dream. Only in real life? I wasn't quite as forgiving over the incident. So the early morning phone call from Jess was not the smoothest transition into reality. The fact that Kat had driven to Philadelphia so late at night? It was a sobering way to wake up. I had mixed feelings about it.

"Why in the world would she go all the way to Philly?" Luke asked while nestling back under the covers, arm around me, hand on my stomach.

"Last night wasn't good. We both knew that."  
"It ended well. We got her talking about Economics and for whatever reason explaining price elasticity to me made her at ease. It also made me realize I know more about Economics than I thought. Not all that fancy terminology, but the principles? Yes."  
"That was a distraction, but she eventually had to face it all. She went to see Jess for a reason."  
"We haven't seen him in weeks."  
"He's been sending her a letter every single week Luke"  
"What?"

That caused Luke to stir.

"I saw a pile of them unopened on Kat's dresser last night while I was helping her pick out an outfit for dinner."

"How big of a pile?"  
"I would guess at least 15."  
"Unopened?"  
"The ones I saw were."

"But she called him for the balloons."  
"Yes, but we both know they weren't talking about anything. She hasn't talked about anything since the rape."

"Please don't use that word Lorelai."  
"How is she supposed to talk about it if we can't even say that word ourselves?"  
"Lorelai, do not blame this on me."  
"I don't blame you Luke. I just am wondering if maybe this isn't so terrible. As long as she is back for when I go to talk to her principal before school Monday morning, maybe this is okay."  
"It's not okay she took off in the middle of the night."  
"No, it's not. But I think we should address that later. See what happens. Maybe some good will come of this. Maybe she'll start talking."

"Okay."  
"Okay what?"  
"Okay, we'll let her have this weekend. But we need to make it clear that she cannot be going off like this again."


	22. Oxytocin Releasing Beautiful

**Some people might hate this chapter. Some people might think Katalina is out of character, but I actually don't think we know who she is when she's not quite as consumed by the eating disorder. I thought we needed a bit of fluff. Oh and I have another chapter written (just not the in-between this and that) that I am sure Beatles fans will greatly enjoy. You'll have to wait for that though...**

**JESS**

The thing about Kat is that she's like one of those puzzles you find in a coffee shop that you start to work on, only to find there's pieces missing. You never know everything about that girl. Even if you think you do. Glimpses of who she was before the eating disorder poke out and make you want to be a part of her life that much more.

She had stumbled into the shop in Hartford. Ambled in with that wavy hair of her's flowing. Impossible to miss. She's beautiful. Ridiculous people stop on the street. Make you feel special to be with her. So I was glad she appeared on my steps. I wanted to still be a part of her world if only as a friend... which is essentially what we'd been before. Very deeply connected friends. I think we always just wanted a link to each other.

When she woke up she came out of the bedroom in leggings and one of my button-ups. It was loose on her, but she didn't look homeless or that walk of shame look. Which was good.

"Luke wants you to give him a call," I informed her.

"Okay."  
"Kat. If you don't call he's going to think I didn't give you the message."  
"Okay, Okay. I'll go call him"  
"Let me dial."  
"Seriously?"  
"Seriously. I don't need my Uncle Luke pissed off at me."

So I dialed the phone, said hello, and handed it over. She went back into my bedroom to talk. When she emerged she had a funny grin on her face.

"Want to go to the city?"  
"We're sort of in the city."

"I mean New York."

"You just got here and you want to go to New York?"  
"I haven't been in ages. Remember that restaurant we found last time? Let's go back. We can rent a hotel for the night. It'll be fantastic."  
"You want to go to New York City?"  
"Yes. Come on. I'll drive," she said walking away. Not waiting for me to answer.

She knew I couldn't help but follow. She had that eating disorder-less spark she had on occasion. I figured I could always take the bus back to Philly.

She drove with her arm out the window, but with the heat on. My uncle would have ranted about what a waste of gasoline that was. I just kept my mouth shut and stuck my arm out my own damn window.

About two hours later we arrived.

She had the car valet parked at some hotel called The Mark. No doubt no one named Mark owned that place... and who would call themselves "The Mark?"

"They know my dad here, so they'll rent a room to me," she said as we got out of her car. I knew she didn't mean Luke.

We walked in and she went up to the counter. They had their bellhops in those uniforms.

"What can I do for you ma'am?"

Ma'am? I began to feel a bit uncomfortable even though I knew they just saw us get out of a car that probably cost more than Lorelai's home likely did.

"I know it might not be possible, but do you have any rooms available?"

"I'm not sure that would be possible."

Kat was not deterred.

"My father, Dirk banks, loves this hotel and stays here all the time. I know he'd be upset if he knew I was in town and didn't stay here," she said taking out a black American Express from her purse.

That was a card I had only ever seen her take out once before, after she'd gotten into a fight with her mother. That crazy lady had told Kat she didn't care if she never came back. Kat called me and asked if I would help her with something, to bring Luke's truck, and to meet her at this grocery store in Hartford. She spent thousands of dollars on food to donate to a homeless shelter. We spent the evening unloading the food from Luke's truck and serving food there. We spent the night sleeping in the bed of the truck in cheap blankets at a campsite, staring at the stars. I didn't ask her until that night how in the world she had a black card. She said that her father had given it to her. That was a missing piece of the puzzle.

The front desk associate looked at the card in her hand, clearly reading her name. The black Amex had him intrigued. I began to shift uncomfortably.

"If you would just give me one second," he said as he picked up the phone, talking low so we couldn't hear.  
"Kat, we don't have to stay here," I whispered to her.

Soon after I said that another person came up to the counter.

"Hello. I'm the manager here at The Mark. Roger tells me that you're wanting a room for tonight. You're Dirk Banks daughter I'm told?"  
"Yes, I've actually stayed here before on multiple occasions. I love being so close to the Whitney."

"Well, let's see what we can do for you. Dirk Banks is one of our favorite customers here at The Mark"

"That would be fantastic."

"It looks like we do have a few rooms available. I would love to give you a free upgrade since you're only staying with us for one night. Does the Mark Premiere Suite sound acceptable? I know your father usually stays in the Terrace Suite which has more bedrooms and a living room instead of parlor, but I'm afraid none of those are available.'

More bedrooms? I thought we were renting a hotel room? And I thought they didn't have a room. Of course that was before she flashed that card. Bureaucratic bullshit.

"That sounds lovely," Kat replied.

"Do you need any other services for the evening or tomorrow morning? As I'm sure you're aware we do have a driver service."

"I don't think so," Kat said.

"We'll walk," I quickly added. The thought of a driver reminded me of that creep Rory used to date. Kat was not like that creep. Logan or whatever his name was.

"Alright then," his tone changed as he spoke to me instead of Kat.

"is that the card you would like us to bill?" he said gesturing towards the black Amex still in Kat's hand.

"Yes, please."

"If I may," he said reaching out towards the card, "I just need to preauthorize the amount."

I've got to say I was worried that card wasn't going to work, but it did. Kat's not-so-dad was a helluva lot nicer than her real mother.

"Do you have any luggage you would like brought up to your room?"

"We actually came here spur of the moment, but we might be doing some shopping."

"You're welcome to have them delivered to your room."  
"Thank you."

After they gave us room cards, we left.

"So we're going shopping?" I asked Kat.

"I need a dress before dinner." Kat asked.

"Fine, but I'm paying for dinner. I'm terrified to think of how much that room cost. Why do people need multiple bedrooms and parlor rooms? All I need is a mattress. If that."

**KAT**

Something about New York City always made me feel alive. I didn't worry as much because no one knows you in a place that large. At least not really.

We went to Alice + Olivia which is only a 15 minute walk from The Mark.

"You know I don't care that you're wearing my shirt right?"

"I don't need a dress for tonight. I need one for Emily's Christmas party."  
"Good luck with that."

"Haha. But seriously if I show up in something I've worn before she's going to have something to say to me. Since my wardrobe options are becoming smaller as the days go on..."

The second I said that, I wished I hadn't as Jess looked away from me almost immediately.

"okay. Let's find something."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to make you help me pick something out. There's chairs by the dressing area. You can read."

So Jess went to read while I tried on dresses, which proved much easier than skirts. I wound up with a few items including a white feather skirt dress for the Christmas party. I came out of the dressing room in it to look in the mirror. I didn't like my hair down so I quickly started doing a French braid that went from the left of my head to the right.

"You look absolutely amazing in that dress," the sales associate said.

"It's for a Christmas party at my father's in-laws."

"Well, it's fabulous."

"I think with those rose gold laser-cut leather pumps you have?"

"What size?"  
"Usually a 7.5 in your pumps"

She went and got them in my size. When I put them on, she liked my outfit so much she asked me to take a photo for the store's instagram page. I obliged.

I wound up sizing up as the size difference wasn't too terribly great just in case. With that Jess and I left to go to dinner. I undid my hair as we were walking. He carried my bags claiming I didn't need to be lifting anything, despite them not being very heavy.

**PARIS**

I wound up staying with Rory over winter break as I didn't want to be alone. I had broken up with Doyle prior to the semester and this would have been the first holidays without him in years. I had to break up with Doyle. I realized he had just been a conquest to me. He was the editor of a paper I wanted to be the editor of. Since I couldn't be the editor, I wanted the editor. Asher Fleming was the same thing. What better conquest than a professor? Jamie was a conquest because no one thought anyone would love me. I made him love me though. I was unbeknownst to it because I didn't love him. I didn't love any of them. The only one I truly cared about was Doyle. Which is why I had to break it off. Something that happened on Friday made me realize I had made the right decision. Thoughts that I had been pushing away for years were being pushed into my head again.

I found myself going out to get dinner as Rory had been stuck on the phone talking to a coworker. I was walking down the street with my to-go bag when I saw her.

I once read a study that when restaurants put people in the seats in the windows it increases the conversion rate of pedestrian traffic to customer. No doubt that was further increased when you put beautiful people in the windows.

Katalina was beautiful. Katalina was Oxytocin releasing beautiful. I stood there across the street staring. Passerbys bumping into me. I was so intent on staring at her that I didn't even care or yell at them for not looking where they were going. She was sitting with some guy that looked really familiar. Reading from a book, then laughing, tossing her hair back as she did. I couldn't tell what she was reading. It could be anything.

I looked up. She was at Pages and Pours. This place Rory had akinned to Busboys and Poets. Except they had books on the tables as conversation pieces.

I wasn't thinking straight. I had to take action. I threw away my bag of take-away food, smoothed my hair back with my hand, and walked across the street. I walked in the door. I was hoping to get a seat by her, have her see me and remember me, and be asked to join her. It was worth a shot. She was worth a shot.


	23. All the sins

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
To answer a few questions. Yes, there are certain aspects of my life that mimic Katalina's. No, not everything she's went through has happened to me... Such as being kicked out of her home by her mother (though I was kicked out of something)... and a resultant pregnancy... but there are a bit too many similarities for me to truly delve into it here.

As for Paris... I have always felt she was stifling feelings on the show. That the men she was with were truly just conquests. I don't think it would have been a leap for her to have feelings for women. Just not allowing herself to feel them.

Pages and Pours does not exist. Completely a fictitious restaurant name. Though the idea of a place like Busboys and Poets that believes in reading books at the table while drinking pours of wine does sound quite appealing to me.

ANYWAYS: I own nothing.

**JESS**

So we were sitting there reading the Picture of Dorian Gray when in strolls Paris. My back was turned to her. Kat saw her though and quit talking, mid-sentence. I turned my head to see what she was staring at.

"Paris?" I said. More of a confused statement than an actual question.  
"You know her?"

"Of course I know her. How do you know her?"

"Rory's grandfather and I were skyping with Rory and she kept peeking her head in the computer's frame."

"That's weird. But then again, that's Paris."  
"It looks like she's alone. Should we ask her to sit with us?"

I didn't even answer.

"Jess."  
"Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you."

Kat got up and approached her. Paris's response wasn't quite what I would have imagined. If I had only ever not-even-really met someone through a computer screen, I don't think I would have beamed from ear to ear. This was weird. They walked over.

"Jess?"

"Yeah. Hey Paris. We were just reading The Picture of Dorian Gray."

"Well, not reading exactly," Kat interjected, "I was quoting my favorite lines. 'You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.'" she said that tossing her head back, causing her hair to follow suit.

She was laughing. This was good.

We stayed there until they were closing, which in NYC speak? Means we were there until the next morning. Paris was acting a bit odd during the evening. She seemed starstruck if that even makes sense. It sure as hell doesn't make sense to me, but it's true. We went our separate ways after that though. Which was good.

**PARIS**

"You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

The fact that she had said that to me kept running through my mind the whole night. Even as I went back to Rory's apartment.

**LORELAI**

And for the second morning in a row the phone rang at an hour I don't want my head to be off the pillow by. Luke was at the diner, so it left me to answer it.

"Hello."  
"Hey mom, it's Rory."

"Who else calls me mom, Rory?"  
"I don't know... Kat might and pretty soon another person will be."  
"No. Not pretty soon. 22 weeks and even then they won't call me mom. Unless they're some prodigy who comes out of my womb talking. God I'm tired. Why is the only person who calls me mom calling me at... ," I reached for the alarm clock to see the time, "6:17 in the morning?"  
"Paris is staying with me right now."  
"You called me about problems with Paris? I hate to say I told you so when you - "

"It's not a problem with Paris" Rory interrupted

"Well good. Can I hang up now? My pillow looks so lonely without my head on it and if we're reunited right now I might forget you decided to call me at 6:17 in the morning."  
'Focus mom. Paris came back last night. She ran into Jess and Kat. They're in New York."  
"I know that."  
"What?"

"I know that."  
"That doesn't make any sense. She didn't mention it Friday night?"

What? Hold on.

"Wait. Rory. What? You talked to her Friday night? I didn't talk to **you** Friday night."

"I talked to her over Skype while you were at Friday night dinner."

"You are still not making any sense Rory and I don't think it's because I should be in bed."

"You probably are still in bed."  
"Technicality. But why were you skyping Kat at my parents?"  
"Grandpa asked me for help with something."  
"Rory."

"He asked me to help her get back into Chilton. Apparently threats of a lawsuit aren't causing Chilton to change their mind."  
"Shit. Does Kat know?"  
"Yes. But she also knows we think we know how to get her back."  
"How?"

"By doing a tell all in the New York Times. If I had known Kat was in town yesterday I would have set up a meeting. I found someone in the office who is very interested in the story and their boss has already ok'd it preliminarily. We obviously have to act fast though."

"What do you mean a tell all?'

"Kat's story would be in the paper."  
"Oh my god," I said shocked.

"Mom. It would get her back into Chilton. I know it would."  
"Did she agree to this?"  
"Last night she said we could try."

"I've got to go Rory. I'll talk to you later though. Love you."  
"Mom?"  
"I'm sorry Rory, but I've got to make a phone call."  
"Okay... bye mom."

"Bye."

Why hadn't Kat told us about this? Or my father? My mother probably didn't know... but my father clearly had orchestrated it. Everything that had happened to her in a newspaper? Not just some newspaper, but the New York Times? Those weren't exactly highlight reel sort of events. I wanted to all Luke, but I knew he was probably busy and wouldn't answer the phone. Then again, it was only like six something in the morning. I was hungry too. I put my hand on my stomach with that realization. The bump kicked as I did that. Calming me.

I got up and didn't even bother getting changed figuring my coat would cover it. Only it wouldn't button. My favorite pink coat that I had had for years and years would not button. Not that I had ever buttoned it that often, but when I actually wanted it to button, the fact that it wouldn't did not amuse me.

"I love you kid, but you're cramping my style." I said looking down, running my hand over my stomach. I headed out the door. It wasn't 7am yet the townies would probably be so surprised to see me up this early on a Sunday morning they wouldn't even notice my attire.


	24. Skyping not Skipping and talking too

**LUKE**

They noticed though.

"Why hello Lorelai. Hey Luke, if there was any doubt why you got Lorelai pregnant there isn't anymore, " Miss Patty crooned.

"Sugah! Is that what you're really wearin? It's cold outside," Babette chimed in.

"Oh honey, Lorelai is hot enough to combat that cold," Miss Patty countered, "Pregnant and melting snow"

"Why are you all up so early?" Lorelai asked. She sounded slightly annoyed and slightly embarrassed.  
"It's 7. Gotta beat the brunch crowd," Babette replied

"You have a brunch crowd?" Lorelai asked me.

"Yes, even though I still refuse to serve brunch," I said as I turned around.

I had been changing the coffee to do refills and hadn't been able to turn around until then. I was curious as to what crazy wardrobe choice Lorelai had made to stir the town gossips. She was wearing her pink coat unbuttoned with only a nightgown slip thing underneath. What she'd worn to bed the night before.

"Lorelai!" I said scolding her as I walked out from behind the counter with a coffee pot to refill people's cups.

"Luke!" she said sitting down at the counter

"You can't be going outside when there's snow on the ground in that. That is for the bedroom," I said whispering the last sentence.  
"I'm wearing a coat."  
"That's unbuttoned."  
"It won't button and we were hungry," she said rubbing her stomach. She grabbed my free hand and placed it on her stomach. There were distinct kicks. Crazy because her stomach wasn't even popped out that much. I couldn't be angry anymore.

"Before you leave, take my coat, okay? And button the darn thing."  
"Okay sir."

"Don't call me sir. I'll be back in a second though. I need to get these people some more coffee."

"And me!"

"Not you. I'll be back though."

I came back after doing my refills.

"What do you want to eat?"

"Belgian waffle with whipped cream and strawberries. Bacon. Scrambled eggs with cheese." my eyes widened.

"Is that all?"  
"And that chocolate donut with pink icing that has sprinkles on it. Your child is very hungry," she was rubbing her stomach again.

I must have given her a look because she added, "hey I asked for strawberries on my waffle."  
"Okay Lorelai. Are you really up just because you're hungry though?"  
"Rory called me." That made me worried.  
"Is she okay?"  
"Oh she's fine. She just wanted to let me know Jess and Kat were in New York City."  
"They're in New York!?"  
"Yeah. Didn't I tell you Jess texted me last night? He told me she seemed to be in a good mood." No. She definitely had not told me that.  
"Is she eating?"  
"He didn't say. Just that he thought being in the city was helping."

"How did Rory know she was there?"  
"Paris apparently ran into them."  
"How does Paris know my daughter?"  
"Luke. Will you quit saying my daughter? Seriously." I had hit a nerve.

"Sorry Lorelai. I don't mean it like that."  
"It just..." she took a deep breath, "anyway, apparently Paris saw her when Rory was skyping with her and my dad."  
"Your dad was doing what with Rory and Kat?"  
"Skyping. You know, where you're on a computer and you can see people on other computers and talk to them. Like a phone call with video."  
"When were they skipping?"  
"SKYPING. Apparently Friday night."  
"Is that what your dad was doing in his office?"  
"I guess. Can we talk about this later though. There's something I want to talk about but I don't want to do it here."  
"Is everything okay?" I was getting worried again, "Lorelai. What's going on?"  
"I don't know. But I do know that seeing you makes me feel better and having a donut on a plate in front of me will make me feel even better than that."  
"Let me get your donut."

**LORELAI**

I ate my breakfast and wore Luke's coat home as I had promised. I fell asleep fairly quickly, but by the time Luke came home I was awake and watching The Real Housewives of Orange County. He sat down next to me on the couch.

"Why is that lady drinking champagne in a limo in the middle of the day?"  
"Because she's Heather Dubrow and she can."

"I have no idea what that means."  
"Oh, but if you sit down and continue watching with me you will. You'll also learn the power of an Oreo and of onion rings."  
"What power do onion rings have except to clog your arteries?"  
"Apparently a lot if you refuse to let your husband eat them."  
"I'm confused. Seriously though Lorelai, what brought you to the diner this morning? Your choice of clothing, or lack of, tells me it's not because you have finally decided it's not so bad to get up early."  
"Bite your tongue! Getting up early is not something you should get used to me doing mister!"

"Lorelai. I'm being serious."

'So am I! Do I need to remind you of the many alarm clock burials –"

"you mean the many alarm clocks you broke and we had to throw away"

"minor details – and that unfortunate incident where I whacked you in the face.'**  
**"I had a black eye."  
"as I said, unfortunate."  
"Why did you come in that early then? You said Rory called."

I fixed my eyes to the screen.

"She did and she told me Kat agreed to allow the New York Times to publish a story about what happened."

Luke stood up.

"What?'

He took his keys out of his pocket.

"Where are you going?"  
"Hartford. To talk to your father."

"What?"  
"I'm just going to have a talk with your father Lorelai."  
'Luke. Kat made that decision."  
"Like hell she did."

"At least talk to her first."

He paused.

"Luke. Talk to Kat first."

"Fine. But we're going to do it together."

**KAT**

It was like that Lua song. The mask I had polished in the evening looked like shit in the morning. Not in a literal sense. It wasn't Monday morning, but it did start to look like shit. As time went on I slowly lost the feeling that the city had given me. It frightened me just how quickly it all seemed to disintegrate. It started with Luke and Lorelai talking to me. They didn't seem to understand how I had lost so much in such a small span of time. It's been about seven months since I first moved in with them. In seven months I went from living in Hartford to living in Stars Hollow. From having Dirk and Katherine Banks as parents to Luke and Lorelai Danes... or Gilmore-Danes in Lorelai's case. I went from having an eating disorder to... I don't even know. And to top it off I'm pregnant. I can't believe I'm even saying that. I always seem to talk around it. "The pregnancy." Or such. I don't know.

The talk with Luke and Lorelai? It made it real. I walked in after driving back from New York City. Lorelai greeted me first.

"Kat, get your butt in here. I got your dad to watch Real Housewives and now he's enthralled. Right, Luke?"  
"Yes. Enthralled."

He actually did sort of look like he was watching though. Which made me smile. I walked in and sat in the chair.

"You can sit next to us if you want. Besides we need to have a talk." Lorelai said, placing the remote on the coffee table.

"Oh," I said.

I found myself lowering myself to the ground, back against the side of the chair, facing them. Lorelai gave me a strange look as I made the move downward.

"What are we talking about?"  
"Kat," Lorelai said softly.

"For starters you can't go off like that," Luke said.

"We need to know where you are. It's scary to get phone calls early in the morning saying you're in Philadelphia when we thought you were in your bed."  
"Never again. You're lucky Lorelai convinced me not to drive down to get you."

"Do you understand where we're coming from? I care about you."  
"Yeah."  
"Why did you leave?"  
"I... I just... I..." I stumbled trying to figure out how to put it into words.  
"We've got to be able to talk. I worry that you're keeping a lot inside. You've gone through so much stuff lately and you never talk about any of it really. And then you go and drive to Philadelphia after agreeing to do a tell-all for a national paper? And you don't let us know about any of that?"  
"I wasn't trying to hurt you."  
"This isn't about that. I know you wouldn't try to hurt me or Luke. This is about us finding a way to help you or being able to get you to talk."  
"I want what's best for you," Luke said adding something after keeping quiet for awhile, "It's not too late to change your mind."  
"It is about this," I said very quietly, placing my hand on my stomach. I knew he was talking about the NY Times article, but I had muttered the first thing that came into my head. I hoped no one heard it the second I said it as I wasn't even sure I meant it.

I got up off the ground and walked out the door.


	25. Things Not Meant for Gossip

I wasn't intending to run. And I didn't. I stood on the top step leading to the porch and inhaled deeply. I heard the door open behind me.

"It's going to snow again," I said without turning around.

"You're right. It smells like just before a snowfall. Crisp and clean"

"Like something good is going to happen."

I still didn't turn around. I just closed my eyes and felt the crisp air for awhile. It felt intoxicating. Lorelai's quietness surprised me while calming me. I opened my eyes up and turned around.

"Will you go to the gazebo with me?"

She looked at me and tilted her head slightly as if trying to figure out why I was asking her that.

"Let me get my coat"

She disappeared inside the house.

**LORELAI**

When I went onto the front porch, I was slightly angry, slightly worried, slightly frustrated, and who knows what else. Like some weird cocktail blend where you can't tell quite how much of any one component is in there, just that it doesn't leave you feeling good. Yep, it was a long island iced tea full of emotions.

So when I went out there and she was just standing on the front step, arms outstretched, I exhaled. Maybe she wasn't running.

"Do you need your keys," Luke asked when I went back inside to get my coat

"No. She's on the porch. I just need my coat"

"Let me go grab it."

"Can I please have my pink one?"  
"It doesn't fit Lorelai."  
"I'll wear a big scarf. I want my pink coat."  
"Fine. But we're going to look into getting you a new one that fits."

"Deal, but it has to be cute if you expect me to wear it this whole winter."

He came back down with my coat and a long scarf. He handed me both and then went to grab Kat's coat from where she'd flung it over the chair. I put them on as I headed out the door.

"So the gazebo?" I asked handing her coat to her

She didn't answer out loud, just started walking. Slipping into her coat as she did.

"You've got to walk a little bit slower, I'm not wearing the best shoes for walking through the snow."

She didn't reply, but she did slow down enough for me to catch up to her.

She didn't talk until we'd made it to the gazebo and had positioned ourselves on the bench. The town looked rather deserted.

"I'm sorry."

"Kat."  
"I'm so sorry. "  
"Kat?"  
"I'm sorry about all of this. This should be such a wonderful time for you and Luke and I'm turning it into something so bloody awful. I left last night without thinking. No. That's not even true. I was thinking. I was thinking too much truthfully."

She was talking fast for even me.

"All of a sudden everything was just catching up to me. I felt so full. Feeling so full. Being so full. Having my stomach pop out from a combination of a food baby and an actual baby. That stack of letters Jess wrote me staring at me from the nightstand. God. You don't even know about those letters. Those stupid letters. He's been writing me letters. All these letters. One a week. A couple of weeks more than one letter. I couldn't even bring myself to keep reading them. At first he just kept apologizing. Like he was trying to blame himself or figure out how all this happened. I don't even know. Then he didn't mention things at all. I couldn't figure out which was worse. Because... I don't even fucking know Lorelai. I don't know. Like what's worse? Someone blaming themselves for something they didn't do or mean to happen or someone acting as though it didn't happen. Someone being able to move on with their life when you feel unable to? Why the hell can't I move on from this? People move on from these things. Add this to the many reasons I can be so shitty sometimes. Add this and me going to Philadelphia. And just everything. Like me telling you all of this right now. We probably look like we're sitting in an amazing picture of winter and I'm ruining it by telling you these awful things. Fuck. I'm sorry. We can go back if you want."

She finally paused.

"Kat. Breathe. Please?"

"I need some cider. Do you want some coffee?"  
"Only with my air."

"I'll be back" and with that she headed to Luke's. I watched her go inside and emerge with two beverages not too long after. She handed me one.

I took a sip. It was coffee. And not decaf.

"This tastes suspiciously and wonderfully like regular coffee. How did you manage this?"  
"While Luke refuses me coffee, no one else does. Why would they? They don't know I'm pregnant. Caesar included. He thought the coffee was for me and the cider was for you. It's the least I could do."  
"I am going to ignore that last sentence. I am immensely thankful for this though," I said and took a long sip of the nectar of the gods.

"God, I have missed this," I said taking another sip.

"Glad I could do something."

We sat there for a while, silently sipping our beverages.

"When are you going to tell people?" I asked, "I know Luke and I haven't done it for you, but you're going to have to at some point."

"I know. But I am kind of just hoping this will tell everyone for me." She said placing her hand on her stomach.

"Did you mean what you said before you went outside?"

"I don't even know Lorelai. It's just all so... complicated and odd right now. I never thought. I never thought any of this would happen And I know you didn't. I wasn't even in your life a year ago."

"Luke and I are both glad you're in our lives."  
"I doubt the validity of that."

"Kat. I am telling you the truth. You are just so used to hearing otherwise and telling yourself otherwise that you don't believe me."  
"Fine. But it's like everything I thought was, isn't anymore. From living in Hartford. To Chilton. All of these things that I thought I could fix by fixing me. That by making myself less. By only giving myself what I'm worth. That it would all be okay. I thought I could control everything that went into my body. Then I couldn't for one night. Was made to be unable to despite fighting it. Now? Every day there is something in my body that I can't control being in there. I deserved it I guess."

I was shocked.

"You didn't deserve that."

She turned away from me.

"Look at me. Please look at me. I want to know you're listening to me. You did not deserve that. You didn't deserve any of this. You deserved to have your mother care enough to get you help instead of tossing you aside. You deserved people respecting you. You deserved to have your mother give a shit when you were in the hospital. You deserved to be able to go back to Chilton. You didn't deserve this. It just happened. You didn't deserve it. No one deserves those things."

"It's not a fluke. One or two things, maybe. But all of them? How awful of a person do you have to be for your own mother to kick you out. For your father to let her and give you money as if it's some sort of consolation prize? When Jess and I were in Philadelphia I spent so much of his money as sort of a fuck you to him. Not that he'll even notice, but for the odd chance he would. I did it."

"I thought you were happy he gave you money."  
"I didn't want to seem like an ungrateful brat. But it's sort of like, 'I'm going to let her kick you out, but here's some money to make it better'"

I didn't know what to say.

She started laughing.

"What?"  
"All of a sudden I had this vision of us four or five months from now. Luke is going to have his hands full when we're both..." she started laughing harder.

"are houses?"

She nodded trying to quit laughing.

"That poor man. Really I should thank my lucky stars, because he's truly the one who has struggles ahead."

"Especially if he continues depriving me of coffee."  
"Considering I won't be able to sneak you some forever. I might go get a refill if you don't mind."  
"Another for me too?"  
"Of course." 

**KAT**

It felt good to talk to Lorelai. I didn't think it would, but it made me feel a bit lighter.

I returned with the same order as before.

"Thank you for sacrificing coffee for me."  
"The cider is making it easier for me to talk to you. When I think about this stuff she gets all worked up and the cider nearly always seems to calm her. "

Lorelai smiled.

"I need to thank you for something. I feel so awkward doing this as it's been what 18 weeks now, but I keep on thinking about how I need to thank you... and I never do. Not because I don't mean it... but because it gets me thinking about that night... and the thought of bringing it up has been ... anyway. Thank you for that night. Luke told me at the hospital it was you who heard something. Thank you so much for that. I don't know what would have happened. I actually don't know what would have happened if you hadn't taken me in before that. Or let me stay after. I don't... just thank you."

I looked up from staring at my to-go cup of cider. Lorelai had tears streaming down her cheeks.

"You're more than welcome kid. There's something else I want to talk to you about though."

I took a sip of cider and closed my eyes.

"Let me guess, the New York Times article. Your father told you."  
"Actually Rory did."  
"Rory?"

"She called me to tell me you were in New York and mentioned it."  
"How'd she know I was in New York."  
"Paris is staying with her right now and she said you ran into Paris"

"Jess said he told you we were going to New York."  
"He did. Rory didn't know that though. She said she wished she'd have known so she could talk to you about the article."  
"What do you want to know about it?"  
"Are you going to be okay?"  
"I don't know."  
"I mean you haven't talked about it and now you're going to do a tell all for the New York Times?"  
"I don't know... I just want some part of my life back. Stars Hollow is a fabulous town, but I don't know these kids... and that school is boring for me. Not that I really ever studied at Chilton, but I had to focus. Then again, my doctor does think my focus is off due to malnutrition, so maybe Stars Hollow isn't awful at the moment..."  
"You're rambling."  
"My point is just that I want some part of my life back. And it felt so degrading to have that particular part stripped away."  
"The way it happened was degrading... I wanted to protect you that day, but I couldn't."  
"I was so embarrassed I called your mother instead of you. I couldn't bear to tell you what had happened."  
"That's why you didn't call me?"  
"I couldn't tell you what had happened. It felt easier to let Headmaster Charleston do it... I couldn't even look at you in the eyes when you came in that day."

"I didn't realize that was why. I thought you were closer to my mother maybe. Trusted her more."

I looked at Lorelai when she said that.

"You thought that? No. I mean... your mother and I get along okay, but... no. I couldn't tell you because I like you more. I felt like it would be another screw-up you would have to deal with and I like you. I didn't want you to have to deal with me yet again."  
"I don't have to deal with you."

"Anyways... all of that sort of just makes me want to go back. To sort of be like, 'I can be in these halls.' As though not being in those halls is the world telling me I'm not worth them. Part of me wants to be worth them. And your dad doesn't think his lawyers are going to be able to do the trick... and least not in a reasonable time frame. And maybe they won't have to put my name. It's going to feel awful, but at least maybe it will wind up with me back at Chilton. Maybe someone will think I'm worth that"

"Even if it doesn't work out that way, you would still be worth that. Tell yourself that."

"I'm trying to. Me letting them do this is me trying to. I'm even trying to eat. It's just such a battle. I can't even explain what goes through my mind."  
"Just remind yourself that you're worth it. That I see that you're worth it. And if that doesn't work, remind yourself that this little girl needs you." Lorelai put her free hand on my stomach as she said it.

"She's kicking."

"She wasn't until just now."  
"She must know I'm –" She cut off

"Right..." I finished, but trailed off when I looked up and noticed Miss Patty staring from maybe five or six feet away.

I looked over at Lorelai and she was staring at Miss Patty. She looked over at me and got up, eyes wide.

**MISS PATTY**

I felt like I hadn't talked to two of my favorite Stars Hollow ladies, Lorelai and Kat in awhile, so when I saw them both sitting on the bench in the gazebo, it felt like kismet. I had seen Lorelai in the diner earlier, or rather her body in the diner. I started to head over. It was Lorelai's hand on Kat's stomach that made me stop in my tracks.

They saw me staring. Lorelai first. Her eyes went wide. I knew what I thought I was seeing was right. She rushed to get up. I hurried over.

"Lorelai, Kat! How are you ladies? I see you've put on some clothing Lorelai. Seeing your lingerie in the diner this morning reminded me of my days touring." I said filled with nostalgia.  
"Miss Patty." Lorelai said sounding concerned, walking towards me from where she was standing right outside of the gazebo.

"Lorelai."  
"Miss Patty, please – " Lorelai said softly, pausing as if trying to think of words. Something uncommon for her. I knew what she was trying to say though.

"Lorelai. Some things are not meant for gossip."  
"Thank you," she said, softly still.

"Have a good night ladies," I said walking away – trying to digest this new revelation.


	26. Crepe Cake

**KAT**

The snow started falling as Lorelai sat back down next to me, still clutching her cup of coffee.

"Kat..."

"Lorelai. It's fine. I really do think she realizes exactly what she said is true. The snow sort of proves that. It's going to be fine."

"I am so glad you understand the power of snow."  
"and magic. You can't forget the magic."

**LUKE**

As much as I don't believe in magic, let alone snow being magic... something did seem to change. Lorelai talked to the school counselor. Apparently they didn't realize she was pregnant. They thought Kat left Chilton due to what they called her "highly apparent eating disorder." They still wouldn't have anyone eat with Kat, but they gave their permission for her to go eat lunch with us. We can work with that. Leave her class before lunch a bit early too. Granted she only did that for three days before it was time for Christmas break. Seems to be a good solution though. Her doctor sent over a general idea of suggested calories for the next few weeks. Which is good. It's easy mathematics for me. Like if we do this, then we'll be where we need to be. Problem. Solution. I get it. Like if I need to make a dozen muffins, I need this much flour. We're going to do it. I like that her doctor spelled it out. Apparently Kat's still in "refeeding" due to her weight so she would normally have to eat a certain amount, but with the pregnancy it's been upped a little. Still not where I would have thought... but her doctor is suggesting we increase by 200 calories every other day, so... we'll get there.

**LORELAI**

First day of true Christmas Break for Kat. Meaning? Not the Saturday or Sunday after, because let's face it... You wouldn't be in school those days anyways. Kat was still supposed to alternate between Luke and I for lunch, but I thought I'd surprise her. So I turned to Sookie of course.

"Lorelai. You look like you want something. And you know I love you honey, but Luke threatened to dull all of my knives if I gave you real coffee again."  
"See! You admit it. Decaf coffee is not real coffee. But no, that's not why I'm here... unless you want to change your mind. I can get you a knife sharpener."

"I have one, but you know Luke when he's mad. They probably wouldn't be able to cut tissue paper when he got done with them. And if you didn't come to beg me for coffee, what's the look about?"

"Baby and I are hungry... and I need something to bring home for Kat."  
"You're not eating here today?"  
"I thought I'd switch it up."  
"You do know I can make anything. For here or not for here."  
"And that is exactly why I am coming to you."

"What do you have in mind?"  
"Sushi and yes I know, but there has to be a way."  
"Oh there's plenty of ways. Pretty much anything tempura, as it's cooked. California rolls as crab meat is usually cooked in them anyway so that won't impact the taste."  
"Maybe a veggie roll too?"  
"Did Lorelai Gilmore just ask me to make a veggie roll? You do know that's short for vegetable right?"  
"Remember that this kid is half Luke, so don't get used to it."  
"I wouldn't get used to it anyway. But I will accommodate it."

"And tell Luke about it. Maybe he'll give me coffee for good behavior"  
"Denial, but Done and done. What time are you doing lunch?"  
"We usually do it here at 12:30, so I will probably want to be at the house at noon so she won't have left to come here."

"Noon it is. And here, have an apple since you said baby is hungry"  
"Thanks Sook!"

"Hey wait, Lorelai! When do we find out if you're going to have another Rory running around?"  
"There will never be another Rory, but we have a doctor's appointment tonight"  
"Call me!"

"You will definitely be on my list."

When 11:50 rolled around, I headed to the house.

"Hey Kat, where are you?"

No response. I'd seen her car out front though.

I walked down the hall to her room and poked my head in. There she was sitting on the floor surrounded by boxes, papers, and photos.

"I thought we'd eat lunch here today. I feel like all we've done lately is eat here or the diner."

"mmhmmm." She didn't look up.

"Kat."  
"Mmhmmm..."

"Kat we need to eat lunch." I said more firmly.

She looked up and had a deer in the headlights look. She quickly tried to cover up everything. I knelt down on the floor. Her eyes looked like she'd been crying.

"You okay? What is all of this?"

"I'm trying to work on Luke's Christmas gift."

"He'll like whatever you get him."  
"This really isn't like that."  
"What is it like?"

She twitched.

"Kat?"

She twitched again, eyes fixated on the ground of papers.

"It's going to sound so stupid though."  
"What?"  
"I just... I just feel like he doesn't really know anything about me... I just thought maybe he might like to? See that sounds so stupid. Stupid and egotistical."

"It's not egotistical to think your father would like to know more about you. You still haven't said what his gift is"  
"I want to make a scrapbook. Of the memories he didn't get to share... but all these memories... I just need to step away for a bit."  
"Do you want to do it together? I can bring the sushi in here."  
"Sushi?"  
"I had Sookie make us some California, tempura, and veggie rolls. I know what your look is about and everything's cooked. She told me what portion you'd need too."  
"Which is?"  
"I am not going to tell you, unless you don't have enough. And don't think you're going to ask me if you've had enough after every single piece. This isn't my first rodeo and I have the belt buckle to prove it." She smiled.

"Fine. Both the sushi and the bringing it in here. I actually like sushi."

"Good." I said. I got up from the floor and was going to get the sushi, when I realized I should get out of my skirt and put on some sweats to make sitting on the floor easier.

"I know. I know. You don't have to tell me how wonderful my outfit is right now," I said upon my return to let Kat know I realized I looked ridiculous in my blouse and sweatpants.

"Hey, I'm still in my nightgown, so we might have to tie for wonderfulness. And you don't have to help me if you don't want. It'll probably be pretty boring for you."

"I want to learn more about you too. You're one of my kids. Also, sushi is perfect for doing this. Chopsticks means no food on your hands, so we can wade through all this stuff in between bites without worrying about getting food stains on it."

I ate a piece of the sushi on my plate and nudged Kat's plate towards her.

"I tried to put them in order. I don't really have any of me as a baby though."  
"Where did you get these?"  
"They were with all of that stuff my mother sent after... I guess she didn't want any remnant of me."  
"Kat... We don't want remnants of you either though. We want you."

She looked up. I moved my eyes towards her plate. She took the hint and picked up her chopsticks.

And while we ate our sushi we worked our way through Luke's Christmas gift. I would pause every now and then to ask her questions about certain photographs or letters or school awards... or track awards. There were plenty of those too. Photographs of her modeling. With celebrities. In New York. She'd done everything. And yet here she was starving herself.

"What kind of cake is this?" I asked holding up a photo

"It's a crepe cake. My favorite thing in the entire world probably. I've had all sorts too... chocolate, vanilla, hazelnut – my least favorite, chocolate strawberry, and even an espresso one. My mother made me one every birthday until I turned 14."  
"What happened then?"  
"I don't really know exactly? She said that it took too much time. She bought one that year instead of making it. The next year, nothing. I was modeling then though... I don't know why she didn't do either... Guess I wasn't worth the time or didn't need the calories at that point." Her eyes grew wide, "Sorry. I shouldn't have told you that."  
"You don't need to apologize."

"All you asked was what kind of cake it was. I really shouldn't have said that. I bet Sookie could make you one if you wanted one. They are phenomenal. It's an act of love, making it. There's so many layers. I guarantee Sookie would do it for you."

We continued on like that. Some happy memories in those photos. Mainly those outside her house. Something I understood. I felt like she had lived for a long time as two people. One who pleased everyone and one who never could please her mother. By the time we'd finished his gift for the most part, I was late to get back to the inn, and we'd finished all of the sushi. She'd eaten just as much as me.

"I will have to tell Sookie, her sushi was a success."  
"I like sushi and I promised you... Besides when I tried to get dressed this morning it was like I finally realized that this is here to stay," she said placing her hand on her thickened waistline. I still can't quite bring myself to call it a bump ... at least not since I saw her getting dressed that one day.

"I'm glad. I've got to get going though. I'm late getting back."

"Don't forget to change."  
"Wow. I forgot I was wearing these. I wish I could wear these to work or better yet to my parents."

"Comfy"  
"So freaking."


	27. Fashion and Apple Juice

**KAT**  
There was a photo I remembered from my childhood that wasn't in the boxes. This photo of my mother with a man. A man who time had blurred the face of for me. It was dated on the back roughly a year before I was born. I had found it hidden in the bottom of a hat box. She was angry when I asked her about it. I was maybe 10 years old at the time. "He's someone from my past that you don't need to know about." That was that. I wanted that photo again. I was disappointed my mother hadn't put it with these other ones, she might have thrown it away. I don't know. I just have this feeling it was Luke in that photo with her.

Sitting there surrounded by these other photos and feeling uncomfortably full from the sushi, I wanted to be out of my skin. So I called Emily. What better time to find clothes that fit than when I felt my largest.

**EMILY**

I was drinking coffee and writing out the meals for the week when the phone rang.

"Hello, this is Emily Gilmore."  
"Hi Mrs. Gilmore, it's Katalina."

"Katalina, I have told you a hundred times before, call me grandma. What can I do for you though?"

"Well, I just had lunch with Lorelai and I was reminded of their doctor's appointment this evening. So I was trying to think of something to do to fill my time and I thought I might go shopping. I know it's terribly short notice, but I was wondering if you'd like to come with me? I probably won't leave for a few hours, but I thought I would ask you now."

It was short notice, but somehow I found I didn't mind. She was reaching out to do something with me. SHE was reaching out. And goodness knows that girl has wonderful taste.

"I think that would be fine. West Farms?"  
"Of course. Would you like me to pick you up?"  
"I don't think your car will be able to properly hold shopping bags. It doesn't even have a trunk does it?"  
"The Vanquish has a trunk. Not the world's largest, but I've fit four suitcases back there before."  
"Alright then. Be here at 4pm"

"I will see you then. Bye."  
"Goodbye Katalina."

**KAT**

Meeting at 4pm meant I had two hours before I would need to leave. Which was a good thing as I needed to take a shower and get dressed. After I took my shower and put on my underwear, I found myself staring in the mirror. Even when I tried to suck my stomach in, it remained thickened. I rubbed my hand over it. The touch of my hand to my abdomen seemed to alert my little seedling. Little flutters that were becoming familiar, but still felt strange. Thank goodness I was going to go shopping with Emily. I needed some things that felt familiar... Like clothing that fit properly.

"Dragonfly Inn. This is Michele."

"Bonjour Michele. Il est Katalina."  
"Katalina. Vous cherchez Lorelai?"  
"Oui! Mais d'abord comment allez-vous? Je souhaite aujourd'hui vous traite gentiment."

"De temps en temps. La vie est comme ca. Je vais obtenir Lorelai pour tu."

"Merci and oui, c'est comme ca."

"This is Lorelai."

"Hey Lorelai."  
"Kat! So it is you to blame for Michele's accent sounding even thicker as of late. He just said the phone was for me and why can't we all speak to him in French. But why are you calling? Are you okay? Are you feeling okay?"  
"Yeah. Sorry I didn't mean to worry you by calling. I know you just left like 40 or so minutes ago, but..."  
"Do you need me to come there?"  
"No. You need to leave work on time and if you come back you won't do that... Can you just..."  
"I'm going to need a little more than that. Sylvia Browne I am not."

"I would hope not indeed considering she's dead."

"She's dead? No she's not. I'm googling this. Oh. She is dead. I thought she was going to live to be 88... Anyway. I'm going to need a little more. Especially since I clearly can't be Sylvia Browne if as you pointed out, she's dead."  
"I don't know how to explain it. I took a shower and I went to go get dressed. I just keep staring at these clothes. I did the same thing this morning. Which is why I'm going shopping with your mother tonight."  
"Wait. You're going shopping with my mother?"  
"Yeah. You'll be at the doctor and I thought I needed to do it. Especially since I couldn't bear to try anything on this morning and spent my day in pajamas."  
"I would hardly call what you wear to sleep pajamas. Pajamas have novelty prints on them and are often made of flannel or cotton. You wear nightgowns and sleep sets."  
"Anyway. "

"Anyway. What's going on..."  
"I can't seem to get any further than underwear. Just standing here in my underwear, stomach popped, staring into the mirror."

"Wear that Gossip Girl dress again."

"I've worn it before and you can't tell me your mother won't notice.."

"No I cannot. But it's you. My mother will forgive you for it and you love it."

"The Gossip Girl dress..."

"The Gossip Girl dress."

"Thanks. And make sure I'm on the list of people you call when you find out if you're having an aunt or an uncle."

Lorelai chuckled.

"Unless Luke wants to tell you in person, will do."

"If he wants to tell me in person, text it to me. I can feign surprise much more convincingly than you."  
"Deal."

**EMILY**

There's something about Katalina that draws people towards her. I had heard through my friends that she'd been quite popular at Chilton and her exit left people quite stunned. She apparently was a member of most every club and something of a star on the track and cross-country teams. People love Rory because she's such a sweet and smart girl. Katalina is smart as well, but I think it's her enigmatic nature that makes people fall in love with her. She's surprising. She'd been surprising me since the day she showed up on my doorstep and told me she was my granddaughter. Not because of that bit of news, but because she came to tell me I was misjudging Lorelai for not speaking to me. It was blazon, but not in a confrontational way.

She has a certain pull even for me. At first I thought it was my desire to save her. Goodness knows I have wanted to shake some sense into the girl. However, it is beyond that. She's a strange combination of someone who would fit in at my DAR meetings and well... Lorelai. I think the latter similarity is what draws me to like Katalina so much. She reminds me of Lorelai, but in a way that I can relate to. And I am not pushing her away. In fact, she is coming to me and she knows the proper time to arrive, today being no exception. My maid let her in.

"Katalina. I must say I was surprised when you called."  
"I know, I'm sorry it was such short notice, but I didn't decide to go shopping until just before I called you."

"Don't you worry about that. My surprise was a happy one. I am delighted you thought to call me. Would you like anything to drink before we head out? I'm not a very big cider person, but Lorelai told me you've been drinking it a lot so I had some picked up. Lorelai craved apples her first pregnancy too you know."

"She craves them this second pregnancy too. She eats apple pie pancakes all the time."

"Apple pie pancakes?" I said incredulously. More of a statement than a question, despite my intonation.

"I know it sounds strange, but Sookie at the inn makes them. They smell heavenly. You should come to Stars Hollow and try them sometime."

"Well, if Sookie makes them they no doubt taste heavenly as well."

"I have no doubt they do."

Wait, had she not tried them?

"I'll tell you what. I will come to Stars Hollow to visit you and we shall go get some of those pancakes together."

There was a pause. The contemplation was nearly audible despite the silence.

"Does that sound alright Katalina?"  
"We can try to do that."

"Then it will be a date."

"Okay. Oh and apple juice before we go sounds lovely."


End file.
